2. I knew this retreat had definitely been a time of great spiritual growth for me, but I had no idea that my renewed faithfulness would be put to the test so soon. Monday night, fresh from the retreat the day before, I faced the hardest 2 hours of my life.

Then, one morning this week, I finally had the chance to pull out 1000 Gifts again. It had been a while since I read it, so I was rereading some of the chapter to get back into it, and I read these words:

“It is suffering that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace. And grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering overcomes that suffering.”

How timely, in light of both labor and what I had just gone through Monday night! Yes, it turned out ok in the end and I made it through, but EVEN if it hadn’t, the acceptance that I hoped I could continue to bring to w/e situation I found myself in would have allowed me to overcome even that pain. Because, when you accept the suffering you feel, the pain you experience, it no longer has power over you. You become free from its chains, and you overcome it.

3. This week I have been trying to follow the new routine that I drafted while on the retreat. I knew it was time to make a change and that I didn’t want to waste any more days just sitting in front of the computer. Still, the changes I felt called to make were about more than just being off the computer, and that to really see the change I wanted, I also had to have a plan for how I would use that extra time.

I have wanted to use my time well and have tried following a routine a few times in the past, but it has never stuck. As I embarked on this one I tried to make things different. In the past I had every 30 min planned out and when I tried to follow it I’d constantly be wondering: ‘what am I supposed to be doing right now?’

That was back when I lived with my in-laws. Now that we’ve moved out, there is more of a daily rhythm. My days are more structured and I have a better idea of the hard stops: the things that need to happen at a specific time, so I marked these in bold, and if the rest of the day doesn’t follow the schedule exactly, then it’s no big deal. This is much easier to keep track of in my head. It also helps me to actually stick to it, since it’s not an impossible goal. Especially with the little baby, it would be madness to try to follow a fixed schedule every minute of the day! This method ensures I have the flexibility I need to be able to stick with it, and not fall off the wagon and give up.

So, how did it go?

The routine is happening, but in bits and pieces. The resolve to make a change has actually compelled me out of bed every morning by 7:30, when before I would usually try to go back to sleep again till after 8. The schedule itself has also given me more time in the day; I’ve had a short quality time with the Lord each morning, I found the time to make muffins with the kids one day, and I’m proud to say I made dinner for my family every night this week! Some days were more of a struggle than others. I never got the daily room cleaned each day, though I did do more laundry and dishes than before, but in addition, I didn’t manage to get in even one session of story time, and that’s scheduled in 2x a day :S .

I am tweaking the routine as I go, finding out what works, and what doesn’t. It’s definitely a work in progress, but already I feel I’m getting more done and getting more out of life and my days. Next week I hope we will get some time to read, and maybe even have one clean room in the house each day. I do think that as I get used to the routine I will begin to find even more time in the day… and especially when the baby gets older! On Thursday morning I was the first one up and I had the house to myself for close to an hour and it was glorious! I can’t wait until this is the norm!

4. As part of the new routine, I have increased my prayer time in the mornings. In addition, I wanted the old daily offering I pray to really be that, an offering, because some morenings I feel I’m just reciting a rote prayer. (Sidenote: when I would pray it with my 2 year old in the room back when I was still pregnant, he actually started to join in, as soon as I’d say ‘pregnancy aches and pains’ he would chime in ‘heartburn’ (hah-brr). I’ve also incorporated a light variation of the serenity prayer and with this resolve to try to embrace my cross, I have grown closer to the Lord. One morning this week as I made my morning offering etc, I actually felt as if I was in God’s presence. There was that sense of surrender as in adoration, as well as a humble resolve to serve (I made the decision to embrace my cross and by golly I am going to do that as best I can – even when it hurts!) Humble resolve AND dependence, because I know how I’d much rather run in the opposite direction.

For my morning prayer time I’ve added in bible reading because I’m no longer doing it at night. I also picked up the Word Among Us booklet I’d brought home one night and noticed it has daily reflections/readings, so I’ve been reading through that each day as well. I really like it, I have the actual word of God in my scripture reading and then a reflection as well.They don’t seem to be related but every morning I have really been struck by either one or the other. I like the sense of balance with having both to read.

The first reflection in the Word Among Us was on evangelization and watching the garden grow:

“we can be sure that no seed sown will end up fruitless! … Once we sow the seed of God’s word, no matter how much we may want to hurry things along, it remains God’s work! Conversion doesn’t depend on our ability to tell a good story or give a good witness. It depends on the mystery of God’s revelation in the secret place of each person’s heart. “

The moral of the story? : don’t worry, just plant the seeds!

5. This week I tried the slow-cooker stuffed peppers recipe.

They were good, especially when I added tomato sauce over-top like my father used to, but they still did not match the ones from my childhood, and they could have used a bit more flavor. I didn’t expect DH to try them so I made him something else, so I don’t know whether in the future he would eat them or not. I do know though, that even if he did eat them, it would not be one of his favorites.

6. This week the mom who ran Alpha in the fall organized a ladies night. She invited a bunch of moms out to Starbucks for ‘a night of knitting, crochet, whatever fits in your purse and you can bring to a coffee shop’, and of course a coffee and time to chat. I went for the coffee and chat, and to share the baby. I tried knitting once when I was around 12 and my mom still went to her knitting meetings but I was never very good at it, and never had a great interest in making scarfs/sweaters etc. I feel I have enough of those, however, this evening has sparked new ideas should I someday take up the hobby: cute hats for me as well as kids, mittens and purses, and of course doll clothes. Also, if I were to start hooking yard, I would probably try crocheting instead. From what everyone was saying it is easier and feels more rewarding because you can get more done in s shorter amount of time. Works for me.

7. I had the chance to play with the manual settings a little at the retreat and was amazed at the difference. By simply lowering the ISO, the same photo went from dark and grainy to bright and absolutely no grain! It’s incredible that a simple setting adjustment can make that much of a difference!

Before:

ISO tweak:

Brightened in Picasa:

Ta daa!

1. Yes, you read the title correctly, I’m pretty sure the new baby has colic. It’s affecting his nursing and his sleep, espeically at night. Nursing he will pull off early making a mess and often he won’t sleep more than 5 or 10 minutes if I lay him down. Sitting up, he does better. It was getting pretty bad, Mummy really can’t deal with crying every NIGHT for too lnog without beginning to go crazy. DMIL suggested he had colic, and I was starting to suspect he had it to some degree already. So we bought some gripe water. It seems to be hit or miss, but when it’s works it WORKS. There ahve been several nights with no crying and a 5 hr stretch of sleep. If only I could train myself EACH TIME to change him and feed both sides so he’s full, I’d probably have more down time.

2. This week we packed up the Christmas tree (so it’s not going to still be there in February!) I was less sad to see t go because it wasn’t that decorated this year and also because I know it bugs DH to have it on all the time, since it eats up a lot of power. That, and I still have my *winter* archway In it’s place we put the playpen for a safe place for the baby. I just found out it has a bassinet attachment! I had no idea, but always thought those things were really neat. So it’s baby’s little space (except the big kids like to try to play in there and with his toys )

3. On Sunday we finally had our family Christmas party. Usually we have it before New Years, when it’s still the Christmas season but I guess everyone was just busier this year. It was a nice afternoon of good food, better company and great photo ops

Food

Family

The secret is out!

Presents

Baby!

More Babies!

They had this incredible little dollhouse made out of a little bookshelf. How cute is this?

4. I realized a little thing that really bugs me if I try to take a picture of my kid with an object in front of them (like a cake). I have the habit of always focusing on the cake, but it would be a much better phtoo if I always focused on the kid, evne if it looks strange with the cake outof focus. I have to remember that as a phtoographer, I don’t always have ot focus on the closets thing!

Note to self, focus on the kid, not the cake.

5. I really do like my slow cooker, now that I’m using it more. I finally filled it up with water to test how big it is, I have a 3.5 quart. Looking at it I always thought it was one of the bigger ones, so probably 5 or 6 quarts, but for a slow cooker it’s actually on the small side!

This week I broke out my slow cooker for another new recipe: bbq chicken and cornbread. Sounded excellent, what a great combination and both things that I know DH will eat, so I made it.

I would agree the cornbread needed work, it wasn’t as light or as sweet as both of us like, but while I was still content to eat it, DH was less than thrilled. Sigh. He can be so hard to cook for. I really need to find more easy, complete-meal slow cooker recipes that he will eat. I love my slow cooker, it frees me up for other things like tending the baby, blogging, facebook and cleaning up potty accidents.

I already thought this blog was awesome then I found this : How to Company Clean in 30 minutes or Less. Makes me feel a little less crazy to know I’m not the only one who goes through the house with a laundry basket sometimes.

6. Our 3 year old is basically potty trained, even at night! He wakes up dry in the morning and will even get up and take himself to the bathroom in the dark of night if he needs to go!
However, my 2 year old is not. He was doing great till shortly before the baby came, when I stopped nursing him in my bed etc… Then he spent a week in diapers at Nanny’s when the baby was born. I resolved to get that ground back as soon as we were home again, and I’ve got him going to the potty SOMETIMES. I’m not sure if he really forgets etc or if he just doesn’t care, because he still has a fair number of accidents, enough that he goes back in diapers for the rest of that day… *mental screams of anguish!*

7. This weekend I’m heading off to another CCO retrerat. It’s early this year (it’s usually closer to spring) but we’ll be alright, the cabins are heated. Obvisouly I will be taking the littlest one with me, and hopefully there are lots of people wanting to hold him so I can take notes! The speaker is none other than one of our beloved parish priests from my old church (before they took the Companions away). Should be a good weekend, the Lord knows I can certainy use a Mommy break to rest and recharge!

We drove in a major snowstorm to get there…

…which then turned to rain and froze overnight.

There were lots of people to hold the baby…

…which meant had my hands free to play dutch blitz! (similar to double solitaire a childhood favorite).

The first night I was paired up with another girl who I didn’t know but both of us had played this type of game before and so we were very good at it. We made a great team and kept on winning. It was so much fun!

Playtime!

Snapshots:

And of course, there was Father Allan, in fine form as always:

‘I’m amazed at the multi-tasking, she’s holding the baby with one hand and taking pictures of me with the other!

‘God’s not finished yet. The retreat’s not over until everyone gets to hold the baby!’

Point taken, Father!

Interestingly, I had heard a lot of what Fr Allan said before, at the lenten mission. … but this time I heard it with fresh ears. (It is said that you need to hear something 7 times before you hear everything.)

Some of the biggest things I took away and want to apply to my daily life I wrote at the top of my routine in the hope that I will read them over every morning and be reminded to apply them to my day:

-Whatever happens today, Life is not an Emergency!
(these words have been pressing on my heart ever since I read them in 1000 gifts and I keep forgetting it, so this went at the top of the list!)

-Will you serve Me today? Will you die to yourself, for Me?
When I’m with the Lord I always resolve to serve Him but when I’m back hope with the daily struggles of raising little ones it all comes undone, I am tired or jsut lazy, and I don’t do things I know he wants me to. At this retreat I deepened my resolve and renewed that commitment, with the intent of making it happen. When I don’t fee like it, I need only remind myself that this is what it is to serve God, and then hopefully ‘ll be able to smarten up and do it!

-Then(if yes): ‘Do the Next Right Thing.‘
This is the duty of the moment. If we follow this simple rule we will always walk with the Lord because we will always be doing God’s will.

-Do your duty with a smile, plan to face each of these tasks etc WITH God and FOR God.
Since all the things I face as a mom of 3 little boys are God’s will for me that day, then every little thing I do, I do for Him. When I remember that I’m serving God it gives even little tasks great purpose. I am taking care of His children.

“To love like my heart has never been broken,
trust like I’ve never been burned,
to give of myself with both arms wide open,
forgive and forget like it doesn’t hurt,
I know that You’ll do your part,
so right now, I promise to start
to love like my heart has never been broken.”

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(I heard this great song on the radio and it really speaks to me, but I can’t find out what it is from the lyrics )

While the kids had their show on I wanted to try, and I did put on my focus on the family broadcast, over 10 min late. Then there was a potty incident (agh!) and by the time that was done baby was already crying again.
It’s almost 11, still wondering if I can get a few minutes peace to finish…

“What we are about to embark on with the Hello Mornings Challenge is no small thing. It’s not a cute “bloggy” challenge for adorable little stay at home moms. It’s not about getting through a Bible Study or checking something off a list. It’s not even about the challenge.

THIS is about consistently putting yourself at the feet of the One who can heal you completely, equip you thoroughly, and use you powerfully.”

I want that.

And I want to make the most of my days… To fail to plan is to plan to fail, I’m tired of trying to fly by the seat of my pants day in and out. It’s a habit developed when I was pregnant and tired ALL DAY. I spent it at the computer on the defensive rather than the offensive. I often get food for all of us way too late, so we’re often hungry and I get sucked in to the computer- and don’t even use that time well. And I totally forget about God! I need that ME time back… but not at night. And once a week is not enough…

DH commented yesterday that he read my post…about being on the computer less…. And said I wasn’t following through and ‘just thinking about it’ wasn’t enough….That’s fair. It seems like it really is time to make a change again, I know I’ve been wanting to get back to reading 1000 gifts, if nothing else…

But I’m so behind!!!

Then use the time better… Ugh. I have so much to catch up on…

What do I do if this is what’s holding me back, work like crazy to catch up and THEN make changes? That will probably never happen….

1 hr faith/journal/typing (morning)
1 hr pics (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
1 hr fun stuff like blog reading and facebook(after lunch, 1 2hr movie)

Certainly, if uninterrupted, I could get a LOT done in the afternoon with this breakdown.

Maybe it really is time for a change.

I really can’t do super early mornings at present with a newborn, but I really want to get more out of the time I do have…

What can I do as the smallest of steps? :

**-get back to my thank you at the end of the day!!!!!

*add sharing my heart with God and some time to listen to morning prayer
*add bible reading to the morning
-add praise music too??
-read/type more of 1000 gifts in am?
*start to plan my day, at least a little… that means planning: breakfast/lunch, Focus on Family, pc time, chores to do… and supper.

I want a bit of a routine – that includes book time for kids and me. I’ve made routines in the past and they’ve always failed miserably. MAYBE if I made a routine AND READ IT OVER EVERY MORNING, things might actually change?!

So now I want a detailed routine… to help keep me on track and plan… But sitting and drafting that now would be another project tying me to the computer, when I really should be stepping away. I think it’s something I will do while I’m away this weekend, when I have more time to myself. A retreat is a perfect catalyst for change, I can start taking the early morning God and Me time, and have that established 2 days in a row, before I try to reincorporate the rest.

But I still think I’m going to do mornings a little differently starting tomorrow. I NEED a bit more. It’s just hard, because the baby and often my 2 year old will get up VERY soon after I do, regardless of what time it is. I’m starting simple, just a bit more substance to my morning prayer than the same (good) words every morning, and also the bible-since I’m just not reading it before bed since the baby came. And make the bed, regardless before I leave the room.

‘If you are ready to make the most of your mornings, then consciously make the decision. Write it down. Tell someone. Blog about it. Set your alarm. Commit.’ (from the e-book).

This is the reason for this blog post: – as a form of commitment to making a real change – wordy and convoluted though this post may be.

Things to include when I draft my new daily routine:

-day plan and prayer time to plan to meet the day with god etc.. each thing… have him there!
-1 hr faith/journal/typing (morning)
-1 hr pics (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
-1 hr fun stuff (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
-dishes/kitchen (2x+ esp before bed and aft lunch)
-laundry?
-cooking
-book time w kids
-book time for me in the evening -aft supper? – w laptop maybe but not pc
-kid quiet with tv shows…so mumym can have her time
-fed before then…
-fun morning activity – at least play toys tv off by 9:30? – mummy’s chore time
-big kid activity list, for once baby is big enough to not need me all the time.

The post title really is inspired from another blog title: Time to Reorder

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To my readers: it already feels like it’s not going to happen and the post isn’t even published yet. Please help keep me accountable!

2. Also, I found a great new blog, by someone I know. This post about Mary really warmed my heart:

“When motherhood has felt like such a tall order, when I doubted my ability to actually instruct a child in how to be a follower of Christ, she has taken me by the hand.
She is gentle, she is silent. Her silence gives me a space to cry when I need to, and a listening ear to take these cries to her Son.

When I have felt less than lovely, less than worthy, she smiles her tender and knowing smile and stands in her unhampered, unselfconscious stance. This is how she shows me that she is a real woman, made beautiful because of her passionate love for Jesus.”

Wow, this is the relationship with Our Lady that I want to have. The post did inspire me with a first step: to try to bring all the little things to her. She’s the one to pray to, when we want our cooking to turn out (and probably when it doesn’t as well!)

3. My best friend still has her baby, and the father is still reluctant but sticking around. But now its her parents that are driving her crazy and causing problems. Her father just doesn’t understand why she didn’t/won’t have an
abortion, given how things just haven’t been working out. And both of them are pressuring her to move out and in with the father, even though neither she nor the father wants to at present.

Since she has become pregnant, she has had a lot of questions for me, and I have felt so blessed to answer them and to be there for her. She was somewhat surprised to hear how blessed I’ve felt, and she told me seriously that she didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t have my mom and I supporting her. God is already using me in a BIG way She still doesn’t know how it will all work out. Her plan is to have the baby and see if she can take care of it, and if she really is as miserable as everyone says she will be (I doubt it) then she will consider adoption. Meanwhile, however, she keeps amassing baby stuff in a corner of her room.

This week she was asking me if it was a good idea to get a playpen or if she should get a crib. I agreed with her that a playpen is much more portable and that she really didn’t need a crib. She told me about a great little playpen she saw that doubles as a bassinet and change table and was on sale. It’s grey with little elephants and she thought it was cute. She had wanted to get it but had no way to transport it and when she was there again with her mother, her mother forbid it. She said it was the last one and I felt that if it was something she wanted for baby then she should have it, so I offered to pick it up for her. And she blessed me by accepting. So after the mission night I stopped in to walmart and got it. She was right, it is pretty cute!

4. The baby would get pretty fussy and it seemed like he was always hungry. Since I am nursing two of them, I wondered if maybe my big kid was taking too much milk (like right before I nursed the baby) so now I make a point of feeding the baby first, or feeding my 2 year old the side the baby had just had. It seems to have helped.

5. This week I decided it’s time to cut back on the tv. When we were potty training it was easier because it kept them in one place etc. When I was 9 months pregnant and exhausted it helped keep them out of my hair. But now that the kids are mostly trained, the baby is out, and mummy is starting to feel a bit more rested, there really is no excuse for having it on all day without rest. I was also feeling disappointed about how little the boys were playing wither their new train table. My 3 year old would go out occasionally when he was bored of tv but mostly they just sat on the couch etc, asking for show after show. Turning off the tv mad them have to find something else to do, and they played with toys more.

It also helped that I fixed up the train tracks. They are both still too little to really build a track, and my 3 year old (rightly so) didn’t really want to play trains with broken tracks. So I repaired Daddy’s old layout, then remade my own, that fits closely with the map on the table.

I’m really pleased with it, it has everything: a bridge over the river, a little boat/rescue area by the water, a forest, a quarry, a downtown with a railroad crossing, and even a zoo!

The only thing missing is the mountain, but we can make another layout with that some other time. I was so pleased with my layout, I kind of kept the kids out and took some photos first.

With regard to the tv, I probably should also add no pc time for mummy when the tv is off, to be fair and especially since it really seems to eat up a lot of my time. It’s just frustrating when I still can’t get things done on the computer either, but maybe if I limit my time again I will be more focused when I do sit down here? It is definitely something I’m thinking about, but so far, not making a lot of progress on.

6. When I was at the mission training night, I learned some valuable camera tips. There is another girl there with a Nikon (1 model up from mine) and I asked her how she shoots etc, because I’ve seen her photos on facebook, and they look better than mine. I wondered if it was just a better camera, or if she also knew something I didn’t. She said that she shoots with manual. So I mentioned that I couldn’t use manual light etc settings with the auto focus. She took the camera, and put it in manual and proved me wrong: For some reason I never realized I could use M on the dial, instead of the manual focus switch on my lens. I’m so excited that now I CAN use the manual settings, and not have to try to focus manually!

She then explained her trick is to take a photo with auto etc and look at the settings, then match them in manual and tweak it from there. Manual settings really do add a depth to photos that auto just can’t match. Of course, I don’t have time to tweak light settings when I want to snap a quick photo of a kid that will be gone in a matter of moments. But when I have a bit of extra time, I’m going to experiment with this some more. I tried a quick test there, and it really did make for a better photo:

With auto settings:

With manual settings

Edited to brighten a bit:

What a difference!

7. This week I stumbled on a good list of the important things to keep in mind while parenting, especially while raising boys: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

I read a beautiful birth post this week, In the Delivery Room.

Laura writes:

“My body was utterly exhausted. It was broken and ravaged. And it had just done the most incredible thing it ever had to do. After nine months of creating and growing a person from scratch, it birthed a baby – my baby. Through its (my?) weakness and brokenness I recognized more strength in myself than I ever knew was possible. I took part in a miracle. And when the stitches healed and the muscles started tightening again, still, my little, precious boy reminds me of what I accomplished.” (You can read the rest of her story here )

She articulates what I too have felt, what I knew I wanted to experience, back when I was going into labor for the first time. I knew it would be hard, and I knew it would hurt, but for me, giving birth was part of what it is to be a human/woman, and I felt if I never did, or even if I had an epidural such that I didn’t feel the contractions etc, I would be missing out, (on an important experience) that somehow I would have felt that I had not lived my life as fully as I could have. And so with that mentality, I trusted God that whatever happened, He’d give me everything I needed to get through it. And though it was tough, it was also empowering and a raw and beautiful.

“When I stand back and reflect upon my birth story, I don’t see the pain and the blood and the agony. I really do see something beautiful and miraculous. I see love and strength and accomplishment. I see life. This is the story I hope my sister hears from me today. These are the blessings I wish on her as she goes through child birth.”

This is also what I want my best friend to experience.

On Monday I left all the kids with DH and went to CCO’s Mission and Intercession night. I knew we would be getting a little training for running the survey tables to reach out to students etc, and that we were going to go pray on the campuses for the students and professors etc. I was especially interested about the last part, though the fact that supper was provided was also a draw. But it was the fact that we were going to specifically pray on the grounds that most excited me.

Once we were gathered etc, one of the staff explained in more detail. We would be going on a prayer walk across the campuses of both universities (we would split up). There were two main reasons for doing this: The first was the way the Israelites marched around Jericho for 7 days as God commanded, claiming it for God and the walls fell and they were able to enter. We wanted to march around the university and claim the campus for God as well. And secondly, the way Jonah went to Ninevah and warned them, and they all turned to repentance, and were saved. We were praying repentance on behalf of the students etc. I believe it was also mentioned, that repentance always precedes the miracle. What better way to prepare for Mission week, than stopping to pray at each of the places we will be reaching out to students in the coming days?

So we split into groups, and took a prayer walk around campus. We prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet, stopping at 5 different locations to do a decade. Walking along together from place to place felt powerful, like we were up to something, something awesome, but no one else knew. Really, who knows what our prayers will do, prayer is powerful (where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name…) and 10 hearts united together for a common cause, well that’s some serious prayer power!

It was a special night and I felt so blessed to be a part of it. I also got to lead one of the decades. It was while leading, hearing only my voice, that my heart became fully open (without distractions) and I felt a strong connection between this and the last time I prayed these words, 3 ½ weeks earlier, while in labor with my 3rd child. It took me back to the birth. I felt that same raw emotion, just more gentle, and I felt that same love. It was beautiful, and I continued to feel it each time I said my part when the others led after me. It was a beautiful moving experience.

Then we went back to the centre and they explained what’s involved with running a survey table as well as making phone calls and doing follow ups with the people that left their contact info. They also explained a new initiative, 2 by 2. There are 2 instances where Jesus sent the disciples out 2 by 2, and so we were going to do the same. It was a variation on the survey tables as instead of stopping students with our survey, we would be going out to them. The most exciting thing about it is would let CCO go places where we had never gone before. Yes, unchartered territory where our presence is yet unknown. Like the Computer Science building!

By the end of the night I felt so fired up, I wanted to DO something! I’d never been able to help run a table before, I guess it never fit with my schedule. Of course, with 3 small children I can hardly make it out to the tables etc, during the week now either. I’d have to have a babysitter for all 3. I thought I could help with phone calls, which the staff told me wouldn’t work, but they can always use prayers (esp against spiritual attack etc). I agreed, but it still didn’t feel like enough. What I really wanted to do was be on the front lines.

The 2 by 2 had really grabbed my attention. I was excited to be part of going out to the students and especially, to be able to go to CS, my home turf. There was very little sign of God etc in my years there, I knew it was a place where our Gospel message etc hadn’t reached, and I wanted to be the one to carry that message! I really, really did.

But of course that too would be a weekday, when I’m normally home with 3 kids, and no car. I really didn’t think I’d be able to, but the more I thought about it the more passionate I felt. If God was calling me to do it, then he would make it possible, so I decided to ask DMIL if she would babysit. I was pleasantly surprised when she said it would be no trouble to watch all 3 kids, if I brought them over.

So, on Thursday I drove in to school to become a missionary. As I walked from the car I was now without a doubt that I have a missionary heart. It was fired up at Rise Up, but I actually had it even before then. It was something I developed soon after I started praying the miracle hour. I really do want to seek and save the lost, and I was so excited to be on the front lines. It’s exhilarating to think that filling out one of my surveys could be a turning point in someone’s life! I just wanted to be a part of it, to experience the thrill of mission, maybe even to come to a CCO event someday and see someone there, that I had given a survey to, that would be awesome! And even moreso, to be able to reach out to others on my home turf, the Computer Science Building. I didn’t get to survey anyone I knew, but I know that some of my surveys did reach CS students (although a lot of other students use our building).

I also felt called to step out in my faith more: to let my faith be on display instead of hiding it. To put my face behind my faith in a place where people could recognize me. And, because God gave me the opportunity, I also felt called to serve Him, to do something for Him, entirely for Him, for a few hours. To love God with my time.

Reading the surveys was neat, seeing what sort of questions people came up with if they were to ask God something, you could tell some of them were really thinking about it. And having 2 people who filled out a survey for me check yes, to finding out more about God! I do hope they will take a faith study, and then maybe I will get to meet them at a CCO event.