1. Yes, you read the title correctly, I’m pretty sure the new baby has colic. It’s affecting his nursing and his sleep, espeically at night. Nursing he will pull off early making a mess and often he won’t sleep more than 5 or 10 minutes if I lay him down. Sitting up, he does better. It was getting pretty bad, Mummy really can’t deal with crying every NIGHT for too lnog without beginning to go crazy. DMIL suggested he had colic, and I was starting to suspect he had it to some degree already. So we bought some gripe water. It seems to be hit or miss, but when it’s works it WORKS. There ahve been several nights with no crying and a 5 hr stretch of sleep. If only I could train myself EACH TIME to change him and feed both sides so he’s full, I’d probably have more down time.

2. This week we packed up the Christmas tree (so it’s not going to still be there in February!) I was less sad to see t go because it wasn’t that decorated this year and also because I know it bugs DH to have it on all the time, since it eats up a lot of power. That, and I still have my *winter* archway In it’s place we put the playpen for a safe place for the baby. I just found out it has a bassinet attachment! I had no idea, but always thought those things were really neat. So it’s baby’s little space (except the big kids like to try to play in there and with his toys )

3. On Sunday we finally had our family Christmas party. Usually we have it before New Years, when it’s still the Christmas season but I guess everyone was just busier this year. It was a nice afternoon of good food, better company and great photo ops

Food

Family

The secret is out!

Presents

Baby!

More Babies!

They had this incredible little dollhouse made out of a little bookshelf. How cute is this?

4. I realized a little thing that really bugs me if I try to take a picture of my kid with an object in front of them (like a cake). I have the habit of always focusing on the cake, but it would be a much better phtoo if I always focused on the kid, evne if it looks strange with the cake outof focus. I have to remember that as a phtoographer, I don’t always have ot focus on the closets thing!

Note to self, focus on the kid, not the cake.

5. I really do like my slow cooker, now that I’m using it more. I finally filled it up with water to test how big it is, I have a 3.5 quart. Looking at it I always thought it was one of the bigger ones, so probably 5 or 6 quarts, but for a slow cooker it’s actually on the small side!

This week I broke out my slow cooker for another new recipe: bbq chicken and cornbread. Sounded excellent, what a great combination and both things that I know DH will eat, so I made it.

I would agree the cornbread needed work, it wasn’t as light or as sweet as both of us like, but while I was still content to eat it, DH was less than thrilled. Sigh. He can be so hard to cook for. I really need to find more easy, complete-meal slow cooker recipes that he will eat. I love my slow cooker, it frees me up for other things like tending the baby, blogging, facebook and cleaning up potty accidents.

I already thought this blog was awesome then I found this : How to Company Clean in 30 minutes or Less. Makes me feel a little less crazy to know I’m not the only one who goes through the house with a laundry basket sometimes.

6. Our 3 year old is basically potty trained, even at night! He wakes up dry in the morning and will even get up and take himself to the bathroom in the dark of night if he needs to go!
However, my 2 year old is not. He was doing great till shortly before the baby came, when I stopped nursing him in my bed etc… Then he spent a week in diapers at Nanny’s when the baby was born. I resolved to get that ground back as soon as we were home again, and I’ve got him going to the potty SOMETIMES. I’m not sure if he really forgets etc or if he just doesn’t care, because he still has a fair number of accidents, enough that he goes back in diapers for the rest of that day… *mental screams of anguish!*

7. This weekend I’m heading off to another CCO retrerat. It’s early this year (it’s usually closer to spring) but we’ll be alright, the cabins are heated. Obvisouly I will be taking the littlest one with me, and hopefully there are lots of people wanting to hold him so I can take notes! The speaker is none other than one of our beloved parish priests from my old church (before they took the Companions away). Should be a good weekend, the Lord knows I can certainy use a Mommy break to rest and recharge!

“To love like my heart has never been broken,
trust like I’ve never been burned,
to give of myself with both arms wide open,
forgive and forget like it doesn’t hurt,
I know that You’ll do your part,
so right now, I promise to start
to love like my heart has never been broken.”

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(I heard this great song on the radio and it really speaks to me, but I can’t find out what it is from the lyrics )

While the kids had their show on I wanted to try, and I did put on my focus on the family broadcast, over 10 min late. Then there was a potty incident (agh!) and by the time that was done baby was already crying again.
It’s almost 11, still wondering if I can get a few minutes peace to finish…

“What we are about to embark on with the Hello Mornings Challenge is no small thing. It’s not a cute “bloggy” challenge for adorable little stay at home moms. It’s not about getting through a Bible Study or checking something off a list. It’s not even about the challenge.

THIS is about consistently putting yourself at the feet of the One who can heal you completely, equip you thoroughly, and use you powerfully.”

I want that.

And I want to make the most of my days… To fail to plan is to plan to fail, I’m tired of trying to fly by the seat of my pants day in and out. It’s a habit developed when I was pregnant and tired ALL DAY. I spent it at the computer on the defensive rather than the offensive. I often get food for all of us way too late, so we’re often hungry and I get sucked in to the computer- and don’t even use that time well. And I totally forget about God! I need that ME time back… but not at night. And once a week is not enough…

DH commented yesterday that he read my post…about being on the computer less…. And said I wasn’t following through and ‘just thinking about it’ wasn’t enough….That’s fair. It seems like it really is time to make a change again, I know I’ve been wanting to get back to reading 1000 gifts, if nothing else…

But I’m so behind!!!

Then use the time better… Ugh. I have so much to catch up on…

What do I do if this is what’s holding me back, work like crazy to catch up and THEN make changes? That will probably never happen….

1 hr faith/journal/typing (morning)
1 hr pics (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
1 hr fun stuff like blog reading and facebook(after lunch, 1 2hr movie)

Certainly, if uninterrupted, I could get a LOT done in the afternoon with this breakdown.

Maybe it really is time for a change.

I really can’t do super early mornings at present with a newborn, but I really want to get more out of the time I do have…

What can I do as the smallest of steps? :

**-get back to my thank you at the end of the day!!!!!

*add sharing my heart with God and some time to listen to morning prayer
*add bible reading to the morning
-add praise music too??
-read/type more of 1000 gifts in am?
*start to plan my day, at least a little… that means planning: breakfast/lunch, Focus on Family, pc time, chores to do… and supper.

I want a bit of a routine – that includes book time for kids and me. I’ve made routines in the past and they’ve always failed miserably. MAYBE if I made a routine AND READ IT OVER EVERY MORNING, things might actually change?!

So now I want a detailed routine… to help keep me on track and plan… But sitting and drafting that now would be another project tying me to the computer, when I really should be stepping away. I think it’s something I will do while I’m away this weekend, when I have more time to myself. A retreat is a perfect catalyst for change, I can start taking the early morning God and Me time, and have that established 2 days in a row, before I try to reincorporate the rest.

But I still think I’m going to do mornings a little differently starting tomorrow. I NEED a bit more. It’s just hard, because the baby and often my 2 year old will get up VERY soon after I do, regardless of what time it is. I’m starting simple, just a bit more substance to my morning prayer than the same (good) words every morning, and also the bible-since I’m just not reading it before bed since the baby came. And make the bed, regardless before I leave the room.

‘If you are ready to make the most of your mornings, then consciously make the decision. Write it down. Tell someone. Blog about it. Set your alarm. Commit.’ (from the e-book).

This is the reason for this blog post: – as a form of commitment to making a real change – wordy and convoluted though this post may be.

Things to include when I draft my new daily routine:

-day plan and prayer time to plan to meet the day with god etc.. each thing… have him there!
-1 hr faith/journal/typing (morning)
-1 hr pics (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
-1 hr fun stuff (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
-dishes/kitchen (2x+ esp before bed and aft lunch)
-laundry?
-cooking
-book time w kids
-book time for me in the evening -aft supper? – w laptop maybe but not pc
-kid quiet with tv shows…so mumym can have her time
-fed before then…
-fun morning activity – at least play toys tv off by 9:30? – mummy’s chore time
-big kid activity list, for once baby is big enough to not need me all the time.

The post title really is inspired from another blog title: Time to Reorder

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To my readers: it already feels like it’s not going to happen and the post isn’t even published yet. Please help keep me accountable!

2. Also, I found a great new blog, by someone I know. This post about Mary really warmed my heart:

“When motherhood has felt like such a tall order, when I doubted my ability to actually instruct a child in how to be a follower of Christ, she has taken me by the hand.
She is gentle, she is silent. Her silence gives me a space to cry when I need to, and a listening ear to take these cries to her Son.

When I have felt less than lovely, less than worthy, she smiles her tender and knowing smile and stands in her unhampered, unselfconscious stance. This is how she shows me that she is a real woman, made beautiful because of her passionate love for Jesus.”

Wow, this is the relationship with Our Lady that I want to have. The post did inspire me with a first step: to try to bring all the little things to her. She’s the one to pray to, when we want our cooking to turn out (and probably when it doesn’t as well!)

3. My best friend still has her baby, and the father is still reluctant but sticking around. But now its her parents that are driving her crazy and causing problems. Her father just doesn’t understand why she didn’t/won’t have an
abortion, given how things just haven’t been working out. And both of them are pressuring her to move out and in with the father, even though neither she nor the father wants to at present.

Since she has become pregnant, she has had a lot of questions for me, and I have felt so blessed to answer them and to be there for her. She was somewhat surprised to hear how blessed I’ve felt, and she told me seriously that she didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t have my mom and I supporting her. God is already using me in a BIG way She still doesn’t know how it will all work out. Her plan is to have the baby and see if she can take care of it, and if she really is as miserable as everyone says she will be (I doubt it) then she will consider adoption. Meanwhile, however, she keeps amassing baby stuff in a corner of her room.

This week she was asking me if it was a good idea to get a playpen or if she should get a crib. I agreed with her that a playpen is much more portable and that she really didn’t need a crib. She told me about a great little playpen she saw that doubles as a bassinet and change table and was on sale. It’s grey with little elephants and she thought it was cute. She had wanted to get it but had no way to transport it and when she was there again with her mother, her mother forbid it. She said it was the last one and I felt that if it was something she wanted for baby then she should have it, so I offered to pick it up for her. And she blessed me by accepting. So after the mission night I stopped in to walmart and got it. She was right, it is pretty cute!

4. The baby would get pretty fussy and it seemed like he was always hungry. Since I am nursing two of them, I wondered if maybe my big kid was taking too much milk (like right before I nursed the baby) so now I make a point of feeding the baby first, or feeding my 2 year old the side the baby had just had. It seems to have helped.

5. This week I decided it’s time to cut back on the tv. When we were potty training it was easier because it kept them in one place etc. When I was 9 months pregnant and exhausted it helped keep them out of my hair. But now that the kids are mostly trained, the baby is out, and mummy is starting to feel a bit more rested, there really is no excuse for having it on all day without rest. I was also feeling disappointed about how little the boys were playing wither their new train table. My 3 year old would go out occasionally when he was bored of tv but mostly they just sat on the couch etc, asking for show after show. Turning off the tv mad them have to find something else to do, and they played with toys more.

It also helped that I fixed up the train tracks. They are both still too little to really build a track, and my 3 year old (rightly so) didn’t really want to play trains with broken tracks. So I repaired Daddy’s old layout, then remade my own, that fits closely with the map on the table.

I’m really pleased with it, it has everything: a bridge over the river, a little boat/rescue area by the water, a forest, a quarry, a downtown with a railroad crossing, and even a zoo!

The only thing missing is the mountain, but we can make another layout with that some other time. I was so pleased with my layout, I kind of kept the kids out and took some photos first.

With regard to the tv, I probably should also add no pc time for mummy when the tv is off, to be fair and especially since it really seems to eat up a lot of my time. It’s just frustrating when I still can’t get things done on the computer either, but maybe if I limit my time again I will be more focused when I do sit down here? It is definitely something I’m thinking about, but so far, not making a lot of progress on.

6. When I was at the mission training night, I learned some valuable camera tips. There is another girl there with a Nikon (1 model up from mine) and I asked her how she shoots etc, because I’ve seen her photos on facebook, and they look better than mine. I wondered if it was just a better camera, or if she also knew something I didn’t. She said that she shoots with manual. So I mentioned that I couldn’t use manual light etc settings with the auto focus. She took the camera, and put it in manual and proved me wrong: For some reason I never realized I could use M on the dial, instead of the manual focus switch on my lens. I’m so excited that now I CAN use the manual settings, and not have to try to focus manually!

She then explained her trick is to take a photo with auto etc and look at the settings, then match them in manual and tweak it from there. Manual settings really do add a depth to photos that auto just can’t match. Of course, I don’t have time to tweak light settings when I want to snap a quick photo of a kid that will be gone in a matter of moments. But when I have a bit of extra time, I’m going to experiment with this some more. I tried a quick test there, and it really did make for a better photo:

With auto settings:

With manual settings

Edited to brighten a bit:

What a difference!

7. This week I stumbled on a good list of the important things to keep in mind while parenting, especially while raising boys: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

I read a beautiful birth post this week, In the Delivery Room.

Laura writes:

“My body was utterly exhausted. It was broken and ravaged. And it had just done the most incredible thing it ever had to do. After nine months of creating and growing a person from scratch, it birthed a baby – my baby. Through its (my?) weakness and brokenness I recognized more strength in myself than I ever knew was possible. I took part in a miracle. And when the stitches healed and the muscles started tightening again, still, my little, precious boy reminds me of what I accomplished.” (You can read the rest of her story here )

She articulates what I too have felt, what I knew I wanted to experience, back when I was going into labor for the first time. I knew it would be hard, and I knew it would hurt, but for me, giving birth was part of what it is to be a human/woman, and I felt if I never did, or even if I had an epidural such that I didn’t feel the contractions etc, I would be missing out, (on an important experience) that somehow I would have felt that I had not lived my life as fully as I could have. And so with that mentality, I trusted God that whatever happened, He’d give me everything I needed to get through it. And though it was tough, it was also empowering and a raw and beautiful.

“When I stand back and reflect upon my birth story, I don’t see the pain and the blood and the agony. I really do see something beautiful and miraculous. I see love and strength and accomplishment. I see life. This is the story I hope my sister hears from me today. These are the blessings I wish on her as she goes through child birth.”

This is also what I want my best friend to experience.

On Monday I left all the kids with DH and went to CCO’s Mission and Intercession night. I knew we would be getting a little training for running the survey tables to reach out to students etc, and that we were going to go pray on the campuses for the students and professors etc. I was especially interested about the last part, though the fact that supper was provided was also a draw. But it was the fact that we were going to specifically pray on the grounds that most excited me.

Once we were gathered etc, one of the staff explained in more detail. We would be going on a prayer walk across the campuses of both universities (we would split up). There were two main reasons for doing this: The first was the way the Israelites marched around Jericho for 7 days as God commanded, claiming it for God and the walls fell and they were able to enter. We wanted to march around the university and claim the campus for God as well. And secondly, the way Jonah went to Ninevah and warned them, and they all turned to repentance, and were saved. We were praying repentance on behalf of the students etc. I believe it was also mentioned, that repentance always precedes the miracle. What better way to prepare for Mission week, than stopping to pray at each of the places we will be reaching out to students in the coming days?

So we split into groups, and took a prayer walk around campus. We prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet, stopping at 5 different locations to do a decade. Walking along together from place to place felt powerful, like we were up to something, something awesome, but no one else knew. Really, who knows what our prayers will do, prayer is powerful (where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name…) and 10 hearts united together for a common cause, well that’s some serious prayer power!

It was a special night and I felt so blessed to be a part of it. I also got to lead one of the decades. It was while leading, hearing only my voice, that my heart became fully open (without distractions) and I felt a strong connection between this and the last time I prayed these words, 3 ½ weeks earlier, while in labor with my 3rd child. It took me back to the birth. I felt that same raw emotion, just more gentle, and I felt that same love. It was beautiful, and I continued to feel it each time I said my part when the others led after me. It was a beautiful moving experience.

Then we went back to the centre and they explained what’s involved with running a survey table as well as making phone calls and doing follow ups with the people that left their contact info. They also explained a new initiative, 2 by 2. There are 2 instances where Jesus sent the disciples out 2 by 2, and so we were going to do the same. It was a variation on the survey tables as instead of stopping students with our survey, we would be going out to them. The most exciting thing about it is would let CCO go places where we had never gone before. Yes, unchartered territory where our presence is yet unknown. Like the Computer Science building!

By the end of the night I felt so fired up, I wanted to DO something! I’d never been able to help run a table before, I guess it never fit with my schedule. Of course, with 3 small children I can hardly make it out to the tables etc, during the week now either. I’d have to have a babysitter for all 3. I thought I could help with phone calls, which the staff told me wouldn’t work, but they can always use prayers (esp against spiritual attack etc). I agreed, but it still didn’t feel like enough. What I really wanted to do was be on the front lines.

The 2 by 2 had really grabbed my attention. I was excited to be part of going out to the students and especially, to be able to go to CS, my home turf. There was very little sign of God etc in my years there, I knew it was a place where our Gospel message etc hadn’t reached, and I wanted to be the one to carry that message! I really, really did.

But of course that too would be a weekday, when I’m normally home with 3 kids, and no car. I really didn’t think I’d be able to, but the more I thought about it the more passionate I felt. If God was calling me to do it, then he would make it possible, so I decided to ask DMIL if she would babysit. I was pleasantly surprised when she said it would be no trouble to watch all 3 kids, if I brought them over.

So, on Thursday I drove in to school to become a missionary. As I walked from the car I was now without a doubt that I have a missionary heart. It was fired up at Rise Up, but I actually had it even before then. It was something I developed soon after I started praying the miracle hour. I really do want to seek and save the lost, and I was so excited to be on the front lines. It’s exhilarating to think that filling out one of my surveys could be a turning point in someone’s life! I just wanted to be a part of it, to experience the thrill of mission, maybe even to come to a CCO event someday and see someone there, that I had given a survey to, that would be awesome! And even moreso, to be able to reach out to others on my home turf, the Computer Science Building. I didn’t get to survey anyone I knew, but I know that some of my surveys did reach CS students (although a lot of other students use our building).

I also felt called to step out in my faith more: to let my faith be on display instead of hiding it. To put my face behind my faith in a place where people could recognize me. And, because God gave me the opportunity, I also felt called to serve Him, to do something for Him, entirely for Him, for a few hours. To love God with my time.

Reading the surveys was neat, seeing what sort of questions people came up with if they were to ask God something, you could tell some of them were really thinking about it. And having 2 people who filled out a survey for me check yes, to finding out more about God! I do hope they will take a faith study, and then maybe I will get to meet them at a CCO event.

–1–
This song line has really been on my mind this week, the imagery is just beautiful: ‘how many gods have poured out their hearts to romance a world that has torn all apart?’ Only one: Jesus.

As a result, this week God has felt closer somehow.

Not a whole lot else going on faith-wise, but I am still praying my daily offering etc each morning and I do feel that the spirit is helping me to be more patient, as I try to manage 3 kids by myself. It really helps that overall I’m less tired than when I was pregnant; otherwise I think I would seriously be insane by the time DH gets home from work each day…

I’ve also noticed that time seems to be going more slowly now that the baby is here and Christmas is over. I still usually have no idea what day it is but now I’m thinking ‘January must be half over by now’, instead of ‘where did December go, last time I checked it was the middle of November’. I guess I must be slowing down and enjoying things… From time to time I do remind myself that life is not an emergency.

–2–
Overall, I’ve actually found life easier now baby is out. I actually have MORE energy than when I was pregnant, both physically and mentally, despite my sleep being more interrupted now. I feel like I can cook more often than about 1 meal a week, it can be 6 or 7pm and I can actually get my kitchen tidied up. And if I want to try a brand new recipe or clean up the house etc, I don’t feel like I need to have the house to myself to be able to conceive myself actually doing it.

Still, I’ve also found that it can be very touch and go: one day the baby will sleep most of the morning, freeing me up to do stuff around the house while I am at my best. Other days it seems he settles down and wakes up crying 5 minutes later, and it gets to be 11am and we still haven’t had breakfast. Clearly the trick is to get him clean and full and settled back down early in the day, so I can have that morning stretch to do things.

–3–
Last weekend saw the end of this year’s Rise Up conference. I did not even consider going (even before I found out I had a baby due in mid december) because it was the other side of the country. This year they had a live webcasts of some of the talks etc and hundreds of people were tweeting quotes and things from the conference. It really made me feel like I was actually a little part of it.

Also, Rise Up has gotten so big, they’re holding 2 conferences next year, and one of them is going to be right here in our city! It will be the first time we get to host one. We are also hosting Impact this summer. Impact is the CCO summer mission, which means teams of CCO missionaries will be doing work in many of our local churches. I would love to do Impact sometime, but with 3 little kids, I doubt it would be any time soon, if ever; but being able to see what it’s all about and attend the CCO events (over the summer when normally there’s nothing!) is definitely the next best thing! This year is going to be pretty awesome here, and I can’t wait

–4–
This year my brother went away to spend Christmas with his gf’s family in Ontario, so on Sunday we had part 2 of our family Christmas. While he was there he also proposed (it was already in the works) so this time it was dinner with my little brother and his fiancé .

She didn’t have any photos of her ring to show other people yet, and I didn’t need an excuse; I was happy to take some for her.

I also love the green yarn against the red sweater with the Christmas tree in the background. It makes for a perfect holiday photo

–5–
On Friday we finally had another play date with the CCO mom. It had been over a year, although she and our kids were getting to see each other each week since September at the Monday morning alpha course.

Her little girls are right around my little’s boys’ ages, and they are just so sweet together

checking out the trains

and the kitchen

The baby slept through the whole thing, so none of them got the chance to hold him.

–6–
This week I finally tried out my crock pot for the first time. I got it back in July but I didn’t have space on the counter back then, and by the time I made room it was getting late in the pregnancy and I was too tired to try a new recipe etc.

Back in the fall I went to CCO’s 3rd progressive supper, and the main meal was pulled pork, done in a crock pot. It was delicious and something I knew DH would eat. At a [arty someone else brought pulled pork so I was excited to try it but it just wasn’t the same. I asked for the recipe for the first one, and the secret is cooking the pork in rootbeer. Yum. I also think it’s best if you don’t shred the meat up too fine, otherwise it goes kind of pasty.

So, on Wednesday morning I settled baby, then got to work. All day I peeked in on my pork as it cooked for 6 hours. After that you shred it and add bbq sauce and cook for one more hour. I threw some carrots in a pot for a veggie and we had a hot tasty meal (about an hour after DH got home). I was later getting it on than planned and late getting the carrots chopped etc because it was a bit of an afterthought. However, the potential is there for us to have a hot meal ready WHEN DH gets home…

The verdict: I thought it was delicious, DH said it was good, then asked if he was allowed a 3rd helping. My 3 year old ate two whole pulled pork burgers and the 2 year old seemed to like it as well. I was also able to freeze what I hope is 2 meals’ worth, so even though pork tenderloin is expensive, I think we got our money’s worth. It’s a hit, and I will definitely be making it again!

–7–
After he’d spent a week in diapers at Nanny’s, I put my 2 year old back in ‘no pants’ so he could get back into the swing of going to the potty etc. I expected regression both with being at Nanny’s and also with the new baby etc. Unfortunately he’d regressed a bit further than just ‘no pants’ and we had a few accidents before he started to get a handle on it and tell me etc…

Both kids learned to climb onto the potty at Nanny’s using a footstool, and after we were home again I noticed the 2 year old climbing up on the footstool like his big brother does at home, so I let him, pleasantly surprised that he could do it here too, as I thought the toilet here was too high. Since then I’ve been letting him go ahead of me so he can learn to go by himself, instead of always taking him to pee. This week I let him try underpants again, because he really liked the car pants that his brother gets to wear. He did great for over a day then had one accident so I took the pants away, and he continued to pee on the floor for the rest of the day. I was ready to pull my hair out, but it seemed the underpants provided the added motivation, every time he was excited to put them on, and he’d wave his finger saying ‘ no pee, no poo’. Clearly, he knows what to do.

So, we’re keeping him in underpants, though it will be training pants for church, and hopefully he’ll be caught up with his brother soon.

Quick Takes , better late than never!

1. The new baby came last week.

Good little kids, always come right around their due dates Actually, this one was the latest yet, I realized that morning that I’ve never actually made it to my due date before, without a baby in my arms! Then, though I prayed ‘Thy will be done’ whether I would have the baby that day or not, I didn’t really live it. All day I kept talking to baby, telling them that it was time to come out. Then to help things along I walked all the way down and up the big hill on our street -twice. And finally, when I went to my weekly check up with the Dr and she offered to sweep the membranes to encourage labor, I said sure, why not.

About 3 hours later I went into labor

2. Which was great, except then it started to hurt… It’s easy to wish for labor when you’ve been waiting for baby for 9 months etc, but then of course when you’re actually suffering through it, it’s easy to want to wish it away again! It was especially tough because though I had been 2-3 cm when the Dr checked me that evening before labor started, after 2-3 hours of contractions that had started to be painful, I was still only 2-3 cm. They told me to come back later, so we went downstairs to a food court to walk a bit so as to help it along, and wait for things to progress.

However, I had already resolved that I was going to trust God and accept the labor experience He gave me etc. Since having my first two children, I learned more about offering up our sufferings and especially when it comes to labor, and resolved that when the next baby came along, that would be the route I would take. I had a list of people to offer up the pain for, people that I cared about, that if I could help them or save them, then the pain would be worth it.

This mentality allowed me to be more relaxed and not stress out about the pain, and so overall, labor went much more smoothly than last time, especially after we were admitted to a birth unit. With the help of the Nox gas. I was able to focus and breathe and relax, even during contractions. In between, I had moments where I was so relaxed I felt like I could fall asleep, just as I had had when my first son was born. Then too, I had gone into labor with the mentality that it would hurt but that I was going to accept it and trust God etc, and I remember when it was over looking back I thought it was so easy, I almost felt like I could turn around and do it again.

Of course, 3rd babies are supposedly the most unpredictable and while labor progressed fairly smoothly, pushing was a bit tougher than before. I think it was something like 5 pushes, (as opposed to the wonderful one push with my 2nd son…) Still, the Nox gas helped me to focus and wait until it was fully time to push, and also to relax in between.

As the intense urge to push set in, there was a short time period of light and hope, as I realized that this could all be over with the next contraction… (it wasn’t!) It got a bit hard, when contraction after contraction I had to push and baby just wasn’t out…

Then, finally, at 3 minutes to 4 in the morning, baby was out. I think DH said it took something like 5 pushes this time

Shortly after the baby was born I had a few minutes where I felt very happy, like really really happy. Here I was, having just given birth to another little healthy baby, after so many months of waiting. It was a moment when God felt very close, I felt such love and joy. I remember saying, ‘I feel like I’m in ecstasy!’ I felt a bit like St Tereasa. It was so intense, that was the only way I could describe it.

I was extremely worn out after the birth. Earlier that night when I was reassessed for a labor room, I was already starting to shake, my muscles were so tired. By the time baby was born I was too tired to even really try nursing him. So, I just rested in-between medical interventions etc. Furthermore, apparently with multiple births etc, it gets more risky, and this time I had a lot of extra bleeding. I heard them tossing around the scary h word. I had to have an IV and then a shot in my leg to help the clotting…. Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen next time?!

Neither the IV nor the shot were much fun, however, I was still grateful for them, as it’s kinda possible that they saved my life.

Having it all over with, was somewhat of a relief, really 5 pushes isn’t that much.. – BUT I was not ready to do it again. And the thought of having to, if I’m ever to realize my dream, of having a little girl, well that was really tough. I knew coming off a rather difficult birth and being up all night exhausted etc, I was perfectly entitled for the time being to feel like I was ‘done’ but it’s hard to think I’ would only ever have these 3 children. Luckily, even as soon as the next day, I started to warm back up to the idea-even though I know it will still be really hard and not fun.

3. Baby is: another boy. 3 little boys!

Little baby Noah, live and in person! Every time we’ve had a doll that we pretended was a baby, it’s been baby Noah. And now we have the real thing! The kids always knew that baby Noah was that doll etc, so now they know their little brother as ‘baby Noah’. I think of him as ‘baby Noah’. His Christmas presents were all addressed to ‘baby Noah’. Something tells me, it’s going to take him a LONG time to shake the nickname, even if he’s no longer the baby of the family!

4. Even though we are very blessed to have 3 beautiful healthy children, I find I am not as excited as I wish I was. Every time I’m pregnant there is the possibility of a girl, and every time I have ‘another boy’ I am that much further from that dream. I got over it pretty quickly with my second son, but this time I find I am subconsciously mourning the little girl that I didn’t have. I knew I was trusting God and his plan for this whole pregnancy etc, but for some reason I was just a little too sure it would be a girl, and so was disappointed. (THIS is exactly why I wanted to find out with my second child, so I would be over any disappointment and ready to love and welcome the boy…. For this reason, next time, I am going to find out, even if it means spending $100+ at UC baby. I hate that I was disappointed to have a 3rd healthy boy. I just can’t do this anymore, the suspense and the let downs are too much, I just need to know!

In the meantime, this is the baby God had planned for me, for us all along: little baby Noah.

5. The kids were cute, but I think my best friend had the best reaction to the news. I called her around lunch time the day he was born, announcing baby’s arrival. She told me she’d be right over etc, and hung up without even asking what I had, she was so excited!

It was also, so touching and sweet to watch her hold him. She commented ‘so this is what a newborn looks like’ to which I replied that htis was not her first time seeing one as she had been in to visit me after the other 2 kids were born as well. But she remarked that this time it was different. Exactly, of course it is.

Before baby was born I was excited for this moment etc, for you, because I knew when you held this baby, it would just melt your heart.

Oh hon, you’ll have your turn next summer!

6. The kids have been pretty cute too. The afternoon after he was born when we had the in-laws on the phone, I told my 3 year old about the new addition to our family.

‘You have a baby brother.’
T: ‘A baby brother?” he asked softly
‘Yeah. The real baby Noah, he cries and everything.’
T: ‘He cries?’
Awww

Then, then later that afternoon they came to meet their new baby brother. My oldest was pretty excited, he seemed quite taken with his little brother, looking t him tenderly. Then he asked baby, ‘do you want to play with me? do you want to jump? Jump! Jump!’

Back home both wanted to play with and care for their little brother. My middle son brought him toys to play with. Later when baby finally woke up my oldest son came over and tried to lift up the car seat. When I explained that I needed to unbuckle him to get him out my son reached over to help with the buckles. Aw.

7. Nursing has been easy. Even in the hosptial, baby seemed to be a natural, even getting himself latched on without me having to hold his chin down etc. I’ve enver had such an easy time of it! I am also still nursing my 2 year old, so I’m pretty busy. Of course the oldest one doesn’t need it like the baby, so usually he only gets nursed AFTER baby has his and as a result He isn’t getting his mummy time nearly as much as he’d like, but that was the case even before the abby came along, since he’d ask for it all the time. Still, nursing 2 kids, I have a LOT of milk, and I think often it comes out too fast for the baby. The good thing is that if I need a way to take the pressure off because it’s too full, for me or for baby, my 2 year old is happy to help.

However, I do feel a bit like a cow sometimes … especially when I nurse them both at once!

Both boys, sound asleep in my arms

Even though it’s hard juggling two nursing kids, I don’t regret nursing my oldest right up till baby was born etc. I chose not to wean him in the hope that if I kept nursing till abby was born, it owul dhurt less when I went to nurse the new baby. And I was right! It had been mildly painful to nurse my 2 year old anyway, because the pregnancy hormones make them tender etc, but it really is no more painful to nurse new baby. Before I can remmber wanting to cry when DH would say it was tiemn to nurse the baby etc because of how much I knew it would hurt etc. That whole aspect of life with a newborn is absent this time, and I am very grateful. I’m still not getting as much sleep as I’d like, but overall, life with new baby is pretty great. He seems to be a pretty good sleeper too, giving me a good stretch at night and long stretches during the day to spend with my other kids etc.

Then there’s the nursing apetite. Since the heartburn subsided, nusring two kids I have a really big appetite, I’m always eating! 3 meals a day is more like 6 or 7 when you have 1st breakfast, 2nd breakfast etc….

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Overall, I feel very blessed to be Mummy to 3 precious little boys! Lord, thank You for providing for me and my little/growing family.