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Archive for the ‘God’s Providence’ Category

Fri Jul 19
– a much needed good night’s sleep
– an egg spaceship
– rosary on nanny’s couch
– all my guys big and small working on a puzzle

– money to do things for our house!
-droplets with blue on beige brown and droplets with brown on dark blue

– boy’s in their new makeshift hangout space in the basement
– finding the right spot for dishes, glasses and silverware
– a cross now standing high over my kitchen sink
– my oldest excitedly bringing me his plant

– a chorus of shouts of ‘yes!’ to God in the back seat
– an adventure of discovery
– Horton!
– giant lobsters and hippos swimming under water
-2 floating heads!
– kids multiplying in the mirror
– buckets and buckets of Lego
-Baby with the display headphones
– building and engineering session for mummy

– Finally learning the secret to Guacamole, soft avocados!
-fresh fish on ice, gifts from the sea
– free samples!
– Mexican fiesta for dinner, this time with guacamole!
-The bridge in the fog

Sat Jul 20
– our new green bathroom
– baby surrounded by dollar bills
– baby helping daddy w the bunk beds and green tape
– a very green room
– boy’s sitting on the front porch
– a lamp left in our hallway just like the one from Pixar
– this house has the cross doors!!

– a way of surrender for him not to be late
– mattresses in the basement, we’ll sleep our first night in this house, in the basement
– grace I didn’t expect, God brought him back to me one last time – for a sleeping bag

– The tremendous gift of my SUMite sister to lift Me, my husband up in prayer and encouragement…
– an airplane in the basement
-middle son sitting quiet and sad for timeout ( unlike his brother at that moment)

– looking up from our new back deck to see a clear feather cloud
– Surrendering to His plan, whatever the outcome, everything, laid down for The Lord and for my husband.
– trust in Him and Him alone

– clouds like doves in the sky
– a great feather quill scrawling clouds across the sky
– a GREAT dove with one huge wing, wrapped over me
-my middle son when I told him to look up at the clouds looking up, exclaiming, ‘wow, they look like feathers!

– meeting the neighbours, she was just delighted that we moved in there, with the littles
– a contractor who worked on our house come by to personally offer his services

– super bike boy
– 3 boys w a mattress in the basement of our new house!
-grace on grace tonight.. DH and the other work party
– bedtime story snuggles w baby
– bible readings, keeping vigil through the night
– middle son saying the psalm response while drifting off to sleep, eyes closed: ‘God’s love is everlasting’
– gospel- conspired against him, when aware of this he departed…
– the bright white light, shining down the street
– th for walking with DH, and for walking with me through my SUM sister and the clouds.

Sun Jul 21

– smiley baby in a very good mood after a good night’s sleep
– baby trying to play with his sleeping big brother
– middle son, holding super bunny by the ears
– cloud rays of hope coming from behind the neighbours’ house
– kids eating cereal at the tiny superhero house table
– superman saying his prayers to Jesus in my kitchen
– boy’s sitting together eating breakfast in the driveway
– doves overhead
– lemon topped English muffin
– family chalk session
– chalking out the beauty from the night before
– a dove for a friend
-Great sweeping dove-like clouds
– great hope and joy in HIM
– an open door to sunshine at the end of the hall
-boys running a business, behind a great desk

– discovering my beautiful crucifix is special, and old
– a great dove over the church parking lot

– a tough opening for tough love
– the HS to guide me when I felt completely lost
– Mumford and sons, loud music to get me through, and Jesus to hold me
– hope in my pain, this is part of something greater/bigger

– a place to come home to
– the big crucifix, still with me in my purse, God, still with me.
– my newest little nephew to brighten my day
– baby didn’t kick me, that was a feet high 5 on the cheek! Aww!
– savoury devilled eggs
– my little guy in the tiny baby seat
– my brother’s childhood friend all grown up, holding the baby
– fun w sookies!
– a tiny baby to cuddle during my hour of mercy prayer time
– a garden sanctuary
–story time w Anthony, a gift of laughter when I needed it most
– strawberry mouse and sunken dinosaurs
– little sleeping baby, all wrapped up

– Mass, again, a source of great comfort and strength
– the hard gift of resembling Jesus, who willingly entered into his Passion.
– a scribble page on which my son wrote his name
– The blue cross, still with me, mom able to open it up and show it off

– apology on my phone
– boy’s tucked in on a mattress in the basement, one at each end
– the perfect bedtime story for this night, I’ll love you forever
– middle son, in dreamland already
– clear guidance from the HS, ‘he descended into hell, on the third day he rose again’

Mon Jul 22

-Fan of feathers in the sky
– a great cross in the clouds
– the beauty of trust
– baby on the toddler scooter
– my oldest w a buddy playing in the splash pad

– songs on the radio that gave hope and voice to my soul
– a tangible sign of commitment and love, a trip to the hardware store for green painting tape
– juice packs and pitas, God’s provision, food to grab and go
– dropping Jesus off at home

– a moment so surreal, the kids and I walking into a hotel
– God’s extravagant provision
– boy’s jumping on the beds
– my oldest, looking out the window and shouting excitedly, we’re in Canada!!!
– my intentional life shirt, along for this soul journey

-authenticity- a broken soul at a hotel window
– the beauty of pure sacrificial love
– boy’s tearing down the hall in search of the pool
– the perfect, single depth kiddie pool for them to play in
-a moment beginning to teach my oldest to swim
– a vast open air patio
– baby with his doggie friend
– being blessed to the point where I forgot I was sad
– little toddler wrapped in towels
– a great angel in the clouds
– bright photographic scenes in the elevator
– my best friend there at the desk, paying for our room, and my oldest, hanging from it

– playground evening picnic from my childhood, my best friend, unknowingly planning and recreating a favorite childhood memory for me
– my oldest and I catching up our rosary on the picnic table
– raw testimony, walking through my own passion before my best friend

– the moon full and round outside our window
– my oldest asleep with his feet tucked behind his head
– reading the last few chapters of winning him- I need all the wisdom I can get..
– and what should I have tucked in my book, but a Christmas card of the 3 boys and a photo of hubby, still there from when I brought them to share in Texas!
– how God prepares us ahead of time, to walk through all storms that we will face…
-words of hope from a friend, it’s all going to be okay.

Tues Jul 23

– awake and unable to sleep, time to pray and just to be alone with God
– bible intros, God’s love story
– words leaping of the pages of scripture, a message, for HIM.
– time alone, to grieve and pray in the quiet of night
– a blanket to wrap up in, Your arms around me
– all my prayer stuff spread on the windowsill before me like an altar of my love

– sunrise over the city
– a weathered feather scrawling in the sky
– Mary sweetness

– morning brother snuggles
– 3 boys looking out the window
– the perfect place to go
– complete abandonment to God, right by the main city roundabout
-all of us taking in the view from the 15th floor- people like ants and cars like dinkies

– little girl baby come to visit
– mommy and baby, both so beautiful
– little baby and my best friend joining us in the pool
– baby girl splashing
– no pool toys, no problem, we’ll use our croc shoes!
– croc shoes riding on flutter board boats
– indoor pool oasis
– the panels in the studio window framed a perfect cross

– praying by the ocean in the driving rain
– the final drive in
– spotting him a ways off, and running to him with open arms
– being ‘home’ again
– reaching out to show him love
– a shed that can be built in a day
– hardware samplers, shingles and tiny stone blocks
– Quiznos!
– boy’s eating subs in the back seat,
– holding hands

– time to really talk
– finding out the truth; that he wanted nothing to do with temptation because he loves ME.
-walking through it all with DH, on the way to healing
– forgiveness, reconciliation followed by an unexpected surprise
– amazing grace, God has used this to transform our marriage, we’ve never been more in love
– sharing with him how God was behind it all, and that none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been following God’s directions!
– wonder and awe at how God chose to bless my husband, and in a way he really could not ignore God’s role in it.

Wed Jul 24

-Grace upon grace- this time for BOTH of us!! What a resurrection!
– green and pink bathroom
– pikachu suspended from the swiffer
– morning prayer together w Jesus on the back deck
– harmony of alleluias
– baby reverently kneeling down before Jesus in the monstrance
-praising my heart out to the kid cd!
– my FIL calling to me excitedly the second I came in the door, and our old appliances free for the taking on kijiji 😉
– superman perched way up in the back of the seat

– a long chat with my heArt sister from church about everything God has been doing in our lives!
– the two of us, on our knees praying the divine mercy together in our living room!

– God’s NOT DEAD!!!
– an abundance of socks all matched up
– middle son tucked up in my bed
– the desks we were promised, still available now that I finally reached the lady who has them
-‘ Jesus just called you’ – DH. Good, because I couldn’t find him anywhere ( my phone)

Thurs Jul 25

-“as you listen to the birds”, JC opening as the birds were singing around me, God moment!
-my oldest counting to 300 to mark 5 min… ( made it to 112 slowly…)
– a strange creature emerged from the depths of our basement
– an article in flourish on woman, the glory of man

– 3 o’clock praise and worship before the blue cross
-A soul at my front door, during the hour of mercy. Instead of singing and praying this day I had put on music.
Right as I signed the papers, the words, ‘what can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus!!!’ were echoing out of our home!

– hubby bracing the door open for groceries, letting my music be heard in the front yard 😉

– a big puddle in our driveway
– the kitchen garbage from right out of my thoughts- when we were looking at the house I had a vision of garbage and recycling bins side by side. Little did I know at the time that they could be found in the same container!!!
– starter prayer shelf in the kitchen cupboard

– sharing the blessing of our new house w my friend’s parents, and a little of how God was behind it all
– guacamole on my own, w cilantro, garlic and more lime mine was even better!
– boy’s saying bedtime prayers in our Mary blue living room to Jesus on the blue cross, on the mantle

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Boy could I have used this truth yesterday…

JC jun 26
Stay calmly conscious of Me today, no matter what. Remember that I go before you as well as with you into the day. Nothing takes Me by surprise. I will not allow circumstances to overwhelm you, so long as you look to Me. I will help you cope with whatever the moment presents. Collaborating with Me brings blessings that far outweigh all your troubles. Awareness of My Presence contains Joy that can endure all eventualities.

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Life is beautiful! Childhood is a wonder, growing up is awesome, marriage is wonderful, children are an amazing incredible gift!!!! There are seasons, but it seems it just keeps getting better and better!

After a long hard week, this morning I find myself just in awe of God’s faithfulness!!!

Faithfulness, about a kids birthday party! But, in Him everything comes together beautifully 🙂

Faithfulness, in both big and small, from getting fingers unstuck and taking care of my son when he got something stuck in his nose which was actually pretty serious, to providing cotton candy in the exact 3 colors I needed and leading me to the little chocolate teddy cookies at the bulk store when Teddy Grahams had discontinued that flavor, to carrying ME through all the ups and downs this week held for us. Thurs night as I said my bedtime prayers in the kitchen I could see the ants crawling everywhere… and I just thought: we’re about to have a party here, and have someone come look at our house now too and it’s this great disaster- and DH is still at the children’s hospital with my oldest, the guest of honor at this party! – I feel like there was this immense crushing mountain just above me, about to fall on me, falling even, but it can’t crush me because Jesus is holding it up. It’s right there, I can see it, but with Him I am safe…’

And faithfulness to my prayers, as just in the last 2 days, I am actively seeing the beginning fruits of 2 more of my prayers for DH!!!!

This has been a hard week, I don’t even know why, but it has! And still, You are STRONGER!!

(I have a new iPhone now so I have Jesus Calling back!!)

June 7 JC

I am all around you, like a cocoon of Light. My Presence with you is a promise, independent of your awareness of Me. Many things can block this awareness, but the major culprit is worry. My children tend to accept worry as an inescapable fact of life. However, worry is a form of unbelief; it is anathema to Me.

Who is in charge of your life? If it is you, then you have good reason to worry. But if it is I, then worry is both unnecessary and counterproductive. When you start to feel anxious about something, relinquish the situation to Me. Back off a bit, redirecting your focus to Me. I will either take care of the problem Myself or show you how to handle it. In this world you will have problems, but you need not lose sight of Me.

Amen.

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Fri May 17
Quiet and being much more on schedule! (Baby sleep)

Scissor tree
Cut and paste lesson, and getting through 2 pages of the workbook!

Cd tray drink holder

Baby’s little worship hands

-New Grace to change-Consoling P 309 ‘sinners have taken everything from me, but that is all right; I have given everything away for their sake that they might know that You are good and merciful.’
-A deep stir, a moving and a shaking, these words I’m reflecting on are earth-shaking huge for our marriage and my role in God’s plan for him… (Sum, 3days, be ready, listen for His voice)

-straw bracelet
a phone call with a friend, at last

Sat May 18
Ty for bringing this community together (moving…)
Cold baby feet come to snuggle
A bed full of laughter/giggles
My appetite finally returning
A fancy weekend family breakfast

Our First real family rosary meditations

Middle son struggling to open the door for daddy because his hands were covered in lotion

Watching Baby push a chair over to the kitchen counter and then proudly climb up on it

Kids singing hosanna

Wind
Hearts to represent the spirit of God’s love
Fire Tongue in the back, that hovers over a head bowed in prayer
How the paper flame shine so bright when the light hit just right (+metaphor)

-Pretty -sprout flower
-mummy’s littlest helper (on a chair) in the kitchen

Hope clouds
Christ the King praie and worship sign on the car parked next to ours

Sun May 19 – Pentecost
-New Pentecost in the back yard
-my little crucifix on my windowsill, the Easter ribbon completely undone; mercy overflowing, spilling grace

– croissant empty tomb
-praying our trusty agent into the prayer jar

– 2 boys in the car for church w Pentecost hats

The altar and sacristy covered (overshadowed) in deep red fire of God’s love

A sea of red among the congregation for Pentecost

Asian sesame stir fry
Spinach salad with creamy dill dressing

Little boys using chopsticks
An red onion ring bracelet

-Singing my love for The Lord while He sings all around, hand in hand
-New boldness to continue singing praises to Him when the neighbours were out
-baby’s head laying in my lap for comfort, a pillow pure white as he got changed

Mon May 20
Superman wresting showdown on the bed
Spider baby- again

My oldest putting a sticker on his chart

Working on the computer, with God’s blessing, and how much I was able to get caught up!
2 old posts, complete with pictures!

-Middle son, sound asleep in the back seat in Jammie’s and boots.
-Driving through the rain into light and hope
– my best friend’s house at last
-great big pictures of art
-Fresh herbs on the window sill
– mushroom soup from a can bursting w flavour (she’s a great cook)
-chicken and basil pesto panini
– a supper my 3 year old ate up
-Her baby covered in cereal
-dessert bowls of fruit with whipped cream and chocolate
-middle son, grinning from war to ear w his dessert

– jungle bedroom, sea bathroom sunny yellow kitchen, she decorates just like me! But she’s really good at it!
-the first house that really looked a possibility, and it had detail after detail of what I wanted…
Sharing Baby girl’s first step together
Watching baby cling to mummy as she vacuumed
-seeing how my best friend and her man have made a lovely home, together
-and how she is just flourishing

– a walk in the garden
-tulips showered with raindrops
-the paper she thrust in my hand, directions for an 8 min prayer walk she felt compelled to give me
-the rainbow glow of the store signs and the reflection
-twilight
-new buds and leaves lit by streetlights
– google’s confusing directions, leading to the church
-a little prayer garden across the st
-Streetlights through the mist
-A great tree completely lit from behind in the mist
-being snuggled close on the chilly walk back
-Store lights reflected in wet pavement

-The happiest little boy, snuggled in blankets on the computer chair surrounded by transformers and watching the show on the laptop

-chatting with her at her kitchen table over late night coffee
– baby with the butterfly

-new shoes
– my best friend and her little girl, waving in the light of the doorway

-Driving through Patch after patch of heavy mist and headlights
Laughter crinkle in Jesus’ eyes

Tues May 21
Insight from the focus parenting magazine, and from a friend

Frustration, that is moving me to action, to seek out a solution

Wed May 22
-Kids reading books in a row in chairs on the couch

-Forgiven beloved art

-The song for my heart – Carry me

Baby tickling brother’s bare tummy
Daddy and baby’s slap high 5 game

-Fellowship, community and love in a circle of women
-A new and deeper unity, all of us holding hands in prayer

-Being Called hon and sweetheart at store and hearing these words of love from God Himself

Thurs May 23
JC: It’s a treasure hunt, look for God!!
Little robin hopping along on the grass

Story time lessons on God’s ways and rules and purity and challenging ourselves all to do better
Our paper hands all together

Singing praise music karaoke with the neighbour

Boys in the peekaboo window

The neighbour joining in, all of us dancing to rise rise up

-Gold mine- a broadcast on specific parenting techniques for the strong willed child

-A peaceful evening (no power struggles!)

-Indian pancakes

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    Mar 22

    Re texas… Ever since I got sick and somewhat discouraged the first time, I haven’t been able to recapture that tremendous excitement and joy over this trip! Now, it’s the fact that I have to spend more money than planned, can’t use my funding for all the travel cause there are no seats and I am plagued with the thought that it’s my fault because it got left so late.

    I really thought this time it would be easy and here it is like Montreal again… and even moreso – I feel like it’s my own fault it’s that way…

    TRAIN: train cheaply 220, fly up 372, or have a really nice ride on the train for 550. (I really loved the train last time – except for trying to sleep – but when I had the sleeper car on the way back it was a lovely trip. )

    There is a certain humility to traveling 3rd class, but I wasn’t going to do it unless I knew that was what He wanted – because I’ve done it before and it was more humble, but it also wasn’t a very good night's sleep last time.. and the next night I fly and get in at 12:15am

    I also wish I could justify a sleeping car… I may have to fundraise a little more… I know I could take the train in the economy class, but it might give me a horribly bad night’s sleep –

    Still, if that’s what You want then of course I will- and suffer gladly , but I just need to know.

    I’m just feeling frustrated – and down – everything left so late, travel to and from Toronto w/o funding, the fact that I still have to spend a lot of money as a result – all the flights are sounding really intimidating… and now I have to leave so early that I really won’t have much Easter time here…

    But – thank You:

    -for getting me a flight to and from Houston that is covered by my funding so it doesn’t cost MORE!

    -for giving us the opportunity to take the train again

    -sleeping car???

    Mar 23

    Yikes, DH told me to price it out everything… ugh, lol I wish I hadn’t haha… I can’t believe travel alone is still $1000, it’s cause we couldn’t get it all on the fundraising, but still…. And now, even with my own funds and the money was blessed with, I’m still several hundred short. (unless I take the train and sleep in that seat!) Which of course, if God makes it clear He wants me to do then I will, but even so I still need to fundraise more, last time it wasn’t about pleasing Dh it was following God but this time it’s very clear to me that I must do BOTH.

    Sure at times I still wonder, MAYBE it isn’t the right time – except then why is my flight covered? And why then did my church family give to me so generously to help fund my trip, and why do I HAVE A PLACE TO STAY WHEN I GO THERE WITH THE FAMILY OF THE GUY WHO CAME TO THE CCO RETREAT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MONTH???? It’s just like with Montreal, God doesn’t provide LIKE THAT, if he DOESN’T want us to do something with it!!!

    Mar 24

    I talked with my close friend at church:

    -1 Colds-very dangerous to fly – so I will run it past a doctor and if necessary get a prescription so I can be better by then..

    -2 She was seriously questioning if it was the right time? Since it’s to strengthen your marriage etc.. and it’s costing more and your husband isn’t comfortable with the money…. ‘given the nature of the conference..)

    3. Then she handed me an envelope. DH had insisted I do up a full budget including ALL my expenses for this trip so I had done one up for each of the different methods of travel to get to my flight, as well as shifting a few other numbers around. So, after I opened the envelope and quickly crunched the numbers for my funds, I discovered with deep joy that with this added donation, on my lowest possible total expenses, I was now short the exact amount that DH had said I could borrow against.

    This was meaningful for 2 reasons.

    1. First, it showed once more how God is faithful and will continue to be faithful providing for all my needs to fulfill this calling from Him to go to Texas.2. And second, it showed me clearly that the best plan was to take the train up to Toronto in economy class.

    God wouldn’t provide like this if it was not the right time. Everything else is fear trying to get me to change my mind, fear, but…I do sense with her reservations about the money, that the best choice is to take the train cheaply, so now that I know I can book it. 🙂

    I’m meant to take the train cheaply and be a little uncomfortable – which knowing that’s what God wants I don’t mind doing, and will just offer it up as part of my trip experience.

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Mar 13

Things have been moving along here and I have much more to share about my whole journey to Texas now. God has made it so clear He wants me to go there, I don’t know why yet, but I know it will be good and I am starting to get excited at times.

Flights:
First thing I did was I went to my husband and asked him if he thought I could go and to my surprise he didn’t mind me taking off for Texas for several days, and being gone away with the baby – but he didn’t want to pay for any of it.
So, I prayed about it, and God put on my heart to ask the ladies in my faith study group at church, especially the one I have so connected with, the one who I’ve been leading the studies with. She told me that while I was talking someone came to mind that I should ask. So, when I got the chance I did, and about a week later that person told me they would cover all my flights! Just like that. I was blown away by God’s care, His kindness, but He wasn’t finished yet.

More Fundraising:
The Holy Spirit had also put on my heart to ask these ladies, and so, not knowing what other expenses I would still incur, I made a short announcement at the end of our lesson: that God had called me to go to this conference in Texas, and my husband had agreed I could go but didn’t want to pay for it. I told them praise the Lord my flights were already covered now, but there would still be other expenses such as passports and cabs, perhaps a place to stay as well, and it would really honor my husband if I didn’t have to use our money to pay for it. These ladies were extremely generous, and I felt so loved when the following week one after another people were bringing me envelopes. ❤

A place to stay:
The 2nd weekend in March the SMU chaplaincy had a retreat. I knew about it ahead of time, it was called BUILD and it was all about the New Evangelization. I was especially intrigued because Evangelization is one of my passions. However, I was also thinking about this trip to Texas and I had taken note, the speaker to our little corner of the world for the retreat, was form Texas, Houston Texas. I knew this was only further confirmation that I was meant to be at this conference somehow.

So, there we were, baby and I, in the front row at the retreat and as the speaker was about to finish up his first talk he looked over and asked the baby’s name. I told him it was Noah, and his jaw dropped. Then he asked what his middle name was, and when I told him his jaw dropped even further. Noah is the name they have picked out for when they have a boy and his middle name is the middle name they have chosen for all of their future boys. He commented that it was ‘like a sign’.

After the talk I went up to him and said ‘ it is kind of like a sign, see I’m going to be in Houston, Texas for a conference at the beginning of April! And he just said it, ‘ you are welcome to stay with us if you need a place to stay’ . !!!! So now, I have my flights covered, extra money for other expenses AND a free place to stay!!!! God is soo good!

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I Heard this message on the radio, and since I can’t find the audio online I am sharing my notes instead.

 

Living Truth – Charles Price

Philippians 4:6-7 ‘Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’

Think of the boy with the bread and fish – he asked the disciple to bring him to Jesus.  For him, Jesus was ALL IMPORTANT so the vastness of the need and the scarcity of the supply became UNIMPORTANT. The disciples, they were the reverse, skeptical: the vastness of the need became ALL IMPORTANT, so Jesus was UNIMPORTANT.

So often we want to say, oh if only I was better spoken God could use me etc… It’s all about me, and my resources. Then the FATHER becomes unimportant! It’s just excuses!
Jesus didn’t depend on his own strengths and resources no, He was focused on His Father’s strength, His Father’s will and His Father’s resources.

Jesus would always pass the buck to the Father. It’s all God.

Thank you expresses appreciation for dependence on another person. We are called to live in dependence on Him.

You know Jesus never said please to his Father, not once. But he said thank you many many times. Please is the cry of a beggar, it’s filled with uncertainty. Thank you expresses confidence.

When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, He didn’t say, ‘please father do this for me’, no, He said, thank You Father that You hear me’

Jesus never said please to His Father, but he said thank you, all the time. Paul in all His letters, he never said please, but he was always saying thank you. And in the psalms, no one ever says please, but they say thank you again and again.

It’s confidence in God, it’s dependence on Him.

What happens when we don’t?

Romans 1:21 ‘for although they knew God they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking and their senseless minds were darkened.’

If we are not looking to God then our faith grows weak. Such people are professing belief but practicing atheism! (they are not relying on Him)

Our gratitude expresses two things: 1st, that we depend on Him, and 2ndly, that He is enough, because we can depend on someone and they can let us down…

Giving thanks to God means that we depend on Him and that we know He is SUFFICIENT for all our needs.

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