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Archive for the ‘Virtue’ Category

Fri Jul 19
– a much needed good night’s sleep
– an egg spaceship
– rosary on nanny’s couch
– all my guys big and small working on a puzzle

– money to do things for our house!
-droplets with blue on beige brown and droplets with brown on dark blue

– boy’s in their new makeshift hangout space in the basement
– finding the right spot for dishes, glasses and silverware
– a cross now standing high over my kitchen sink
– my oldest excitedly bringing me his plant

– a chorus of shouts of ‘yes!’ to God in the back seat
– an adventure of discovery
– Horton!
– giant lobsters and hippos swimming under water
-2 floating heads!
– kids multiplying in the mirror
– buckets and buckets of Lego
-Baby with the display headphones
– building and engineering session for mummy

– Finally learning the secret to Guacamole, soft avocados!
-fresh fish on ice, gifts from the sea
– free samples!
– Mexican fiesta for dinner, this time with guacamole!
-The bridge in the fog

Sat Jul 20
– our new green bathroom
– baby surrounded by dollar bills
– baby helping daddy w the bunk beds and green tape
– a very green room
– boy’s sitting on the front porch
– a lamp left in our hallway just like the one from Pixar
– this house has the cross doors!!

– a way of surrender for him not to be late
– mattresses in the basement, we’ll sleep our first night in this house, in the basement
– grace I didn’t expect, God brought him back to me one last time – for a sleeping bag

– The tremendous gift of my SUMite sister to lift Me, my husband up in prayer and encouragement…
– an airplane in the basement
-middle son sitting quiet and sad for timeout ( unlike his brother at that moment)

– looking up from our new back deck to see a clear feather cloud
– Surrendering to His plan, whatever the outcome, everything, laid down for The Lord and for my husband.
– trust in Him and Him alone

– clouds like doves in the sky
– a great feather quill scrawling clouds across the sky
– a GREAT dove with one huge wing, wrapped over me
-my middle son when I told him to look up at the clouds looking up, exclaiming, ‘wow, they look like feathers!

– meeting the neighbours, she was just delighted that we moved in there, with the littles
– a contractor who worked on our house come by to personally offer his services

– super bike boy
– 3 boys w a mattress in the basement of our new house!
-grace on grace tonight.. DH and the other work party
– bedtime story snuggles w baby
– bible readings, keeping vigil through the night
– middle son saying the psalm response while drifting off to sleep, eyes closed: ‘God’s love is everlasting’
– gospel- conspired against him, when aware of this he departed…
– the bright white light, shining down the street
– th for walking with DH, and for walking with me through my SUM sister and the clouds.

Sun Jul 21

– smiley baby in a very good mood after a good night’s sleep
– baby trying to play with his sleeping big brother
– middle son, holding super bunny by the ears
– cloud rays of hope coming from behind the neighbours’ house
– kids eating cereal at the tiny superhero house table
– superman saying his prayers to Jesus in my kitchen
– boy’s sitting together eating breakfast in the driveway
– doves overhead
– lemon topped English muffin
– family chalk session
– chalking out the beauty from the night before
– a dove for a friend
-Great sweeping dove-like clouds
– great hope and joy in HIM
– an open door to sunshine at the end of the hall
-boys running a business, behind a great desk

– discovering my beautiful crucifix is special, and old
– a great dove over the church parking lot

– a tough opening for tough love
– the HS to guide me when I felt completely lost
– Mumford and sons, loud music to get me through, and Jesus to hold me
– hope in my pain, this is part of something greater/bigger

– a place to come home to
– the big crucifix, still with me in my purse, God, still with me.
– my newest little nephew to brighten my day
– baby didn’t kick me, that was a feet high 5 on the cheek! Aww!
– savoury devilled eggs
– my little guy in the tiny baby seat
– my brother’s childhood friend all grown up, holding the baby
– fun w sookies!
– a tiny baby to cuddle during my hour of mercy prayer time
– a garden sanctuary
–story time w Anthony, a gift of laughter when I needed it most
– strawberry mouse and sunken dinosaurs
– little sleeping baby, all wrapped up

– Mass, again, a source of great comfort and strength
– the hard gift of resembling Jesus, who willingly entered into his Passion.
– a scribble page on which my son wrote his name
– The blue cross, still with me, mom able to open it up and show it off

– apology on my phone
– boy’s tucked in on a mattress in the basement, one at each end
– the perfect bedtime story for this night, I’ll love you forever
– middle son, in dreamland already
– clear guidance from the HS, ‘he descended into hell, on the third day he rose again’

Mon Jul 22

-Fan of feathers in the sky
– a great cross in the clouds
– the beauty of trust
– baby on the toddler scooter
– my oldest w a buddy playing in the splash pad

– songs on the radio that gave hope and voice to my soul
– a tangible sign of commitment and love, a trip to the hardware store for green painting tape
– juice packs and pitas, God’s provision, food to grab and go
– dropping Jesus off at home

– a moment so surreal, the kids and I walking into a hotel
– God’s extravagant provision
– boy’s jumping on the beds
– my oldest, looking out the window and shouting excitedly, we’re in Canada!!!
– my intentional life shirt, along for this soul journey

-authenticity- a broken soul at a hotel window
– the beauty of pure sacrificial love
– boy’s tearing down the hall in search of the pool
– the perfect, single depth kiddie pool for them to play in
-a moment beginning to teach my oldest to swim
– a vast open air patio
– baby with his doggie friend
– being blessed to the point where I forgot I was sad
– little toddler wrapped in towels
– a great angel in the clouds
– bright photographic scenes in the elevator
– my best friend there at the desk, paying for our room, and my oldest, hanging from it

– playground evening picnic from my childhood, my best friend, unknowingly planning and recreating a favorite childhood memory for me
– my oldest and I catching up our rosary on the picnic table
– raw testimony, walking through my own passion before my best friend

– the moon full and round outside our window
– my oldest asleep with his feet tucked behind his head
– reading the last few chapters of winning him- I need all the wisdom I can get..
– and what should I have tucked in my book, but a Christmas card of the 3 boys and a photo of hubby, still there from when I brought them to share in Texas!
– how God prepares us ahead of time, to walk through all storms that we will face…
-words of hope from a friend, it’s all going to be okay.

Tues Jul 23

– awake and unable to sleep, time to pray and just to be alone with God
– bible intros, God’s love story
– words leaping of the pages of scripture, a message, for HIM.
– time alone, to grieve and pray in the quiet of night
– a blanket to wrap up in, Your arms around me
– all my prayer stuff spread on the windowsill before me like an altar of my love

– sunrise over the city
– a weathered feather scrawling in the sky
– Mary sweetness

– morning brother snuggles
– 3 boys looking out the window
– the perfect place to go
– complete abandonment to God, right by the main city roundabout
-all of us taking in the view from the 15th floor- people like ants and cars like dinkies

– little girl baby come to visit
– mommy and baby, both so beautiful
– little baby and my best friend joining us in the pool
– baby girl splashing
– no pool toys, no problem, we’ll use our croc shoes!
– croc shoes riding on flutter board boats
– indoor pool oasis
– the panels in the studio window framed a perfect cross

– praying by the ocean in the driving rain
– the final drive in
– spotting him a ways off, and running to him with open arms
– being ‘home’ again
– reaching out to show him love
– a shed that can be built in a day
– hardware samplers, shingles and tiny stone blocks
– Quiznos!
– boy’s eating subs in the back seat,
– holding hands

– time to really talk
– finding out the truth; that he wanted nothing to do with temptation because he loves ME.
-walking through it all with DH, on the way to healing
– forgiveness, reconciliation followed by an unexpected surprise
– amazing grace, God has used this to transform our marriage, we’ve never been more in love
– sharing with him how God was behind it all, and that none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been following God’s directions!
– wonder and awe at how God chose to bless my husband, and in a way he really could not ignore God’s role in it.

Wed Jul 24

-Grace upon grace- this time for BOTH of us!! What a resurrection!
– green and pink bathroom
– pikachu suspended from the swiffer
– morning prayer together w Jesus on the back deck
– harmony of alleluias
– baby reverently kneeling down before Jesus in the monstrance
-praising my heart out to the kid cd!
– my FIL calling to me excitedly the second I came in the door, and our old appliances free for the taking on kijiji 😉
– superman perched way up in the back of the seat

– a long chat with my heArt sister from church about everything God has been doing in our lives!
– the two of us, on our knees praying the divine mercy together in our living room!

– God’s NOT DEAD!!!
– an abundance of socks all matched up
– middle son tucked up in my bed
– the desks we were promised, still available now that I finally reached the lady who has them
-‘ Jesus just called you’ – DH. Good, because I couldn’t find him anywhere ( my phone)

Thurs Jul 25

-“as you listen to the birds”, JC opening as the birds were singing around me, God moment!
-my oldest counting to 300 to mark 5 min… ( made it to 112 slowly…)
– a strange creature emerged from the depths of our basement
– an article in flourish on woman, the glory of man

– 3 o’clock praise and worship before the blue cross
-A soul at my front door, during the hour of mercy. Instead of singing and praying this day I had put on music.
Right as I signed the papers, the words, ‘what can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus!!!’ were echoing out of our home!

– hubby bracing the door open for groceries, letting my music be heard in the front yard 😉

– a big puddle in our driveway
– the kitchen garbage from right out of my thoughts- when we were looking at the house I had a vision of garbage and recycling bins side by side. Little did I know at the time that they could be found in the same container!!!
– starter prayer shelf in the kitchen cupboard

– sharing the blessing of our new house w my friend’s parents, and a little of how God was behind it all
– guacamole on my own, w cilantro, garlic and more lime mine was even better!
– boy’s saying bedtime prayers in our Mary blue living room to Jesus on the blue cross, on the mantle

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I am the Light of the world. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of My followers to be a Light-bearer. The Holy Spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, making Me visible to people around you. Ask My Spirit to live through you, as you wind your way through this day. Hold My hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The Light of My Presence is shining upon you. Brighten up the world by reflecting who I am.


Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young

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I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I’ve constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand

In the middle of the battle I believe I’ve finally found
I’ll never know the thrill of victory ’til I’m willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I’m laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain

So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay
down
I surrender all the triumph for it’s only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Everything I am, all I’ve done, and all I’ve known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all
Songwriter(s): David E. Moffitt
Copyright: New Spring Publishing Inc.
Official lyrics powered by

Lyrics from eLyrics.net

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As I went to do a chore I didn’t want to and then had Jesus join me, and it suddenly hit me: I don’t gripe when I have Jesus with me because then it’s not a burden…It doesn’t matter what it is.

Something to remember often. With Him, nothing is a chore. Hard work maybe, but not a chore.

Also, through the way I have been personally relating to Jesus as a physical person, something deep and childlike going on in my heart. I want to be Your saint- and that means I need to let You live in me, not to be perfect! Holiness is simply letting You live in me, all the time.

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Fri Apr 5 – Texas Day 4

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Blue skies and sunshine
The shadow from a crucifix
Watching their 2 year old caring for a 2 month old baby
Watching my little guy lay his head down to look at the baby
House full of babies 🙂
Funky bottle rack
My ‘Baby’ snuggled in the doll playpen

Summer in April
Wearing my summer dress without leggings!!!
A catholic book on temperament
Playtime w girl toys
Ham sandwiches and chips

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A beautiful sunny afternoon in the back yard
Baby in his US shirt
Circles of light like coins shining on the deck
Watching baby run free w glee from one activity to another
Peekaboo in the playhouse windows
Boots by the front door
Spying baby through the open window washing dishes at his kitchen sink
Baby talking to me on the air phone
Star leaves
Real Palm trees just over the fence
Real geckos on the fence
Jumping on a trampoline again, even if only for 5 minutes

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Baby bananas
Hydro car – one of the Cars cars that drives on water
An army of power towers
Storefront signs in different fonts but all in white
A lot full of outdoor play centers w rainbow roofs
Ramps like something out of the Jetsons, over under around and through
Looking back to see baby had opened the car toy package
A line of excavators, yellow, red and blue
Learning all sorts of interesting things about Texas on the drive over to the conference
A Texas specialty, dinner at Whataburger
Baby playing w all the plastic order number markers
BBQ chicken strip sandwich on Texas toast mmmmmm
My little Texas adventurer w BBQ sauce on his face

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Christ the King at last
Walking in and Seeing Lynn and Dineen for the first time
Stacks of flourish magazines
Heart stickers to distinguish the SUMites
Welcome and a prayer
Lynn coming over to find me
Meeting other SUM members
Lynn and I chatting like old friends
My celebrity, my heart sister, carrying my bags out to the car!
Driving through some of the city center lit up at night
Praying through my penance before an almost lifesized painting of the divine mercy image

Sat Apr 6 – Texas Day 5 – Intentional Life Conference!

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Starting my day off the right way this time, by Giving all the control back to God
Stepping out into a summer morning
Birds singing and that fresh early morning smell
Baby walking free in the (quiet) street
Driving out w fresh perspective and trust in God and wild hope for the day ahead

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Intentional Life!

Custom notebooks!
The altar, palm trees, and crowns of Christ lit up with golden morning sun in the sanctuary
-Power like light from the cross
with my Eyes closed it’s a crucifix
Baby w only 1 shoe
Listening to Lynn LIVE!
some great iPhone captures
Dineen, on a God centred marriage and the basics of Trust
A Secluded room with speakers to listen to the talks while baby ran free
A Daycare room when baby just got too chatty
Hope and FREEDOM like I have never known

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The guy who I’ve been staying with and who’s car I left the carseat in when he dropped me off in the morning, right there in the parking lot w/o being asked, the minute I realized I needed him… (Carseat)
A holy water font with still water, black tile and an unique and decorative cross
Beautiful stained glass; the trinity of Love
Jesus on the crucifix a silhouette in front of the trinity stained glass, this is God!
Stepping into the chapel and His very presence, even if just for a moment.
Statues in behind the altar (sacristy?)
The leaf from last night still following me
Baby falling asleep so I could prepare for confession
Jesus; God’s gift of mercy
A beautiful painting of Jesus calling to us in the divine mercy
A gift for mummy – a flower petal from my toddler

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Special celebration dinner
Purple and glass centrepiece
Southern hospitality: a bag full of meals for the trip home
1 on 1 time to chat w Lynn
God granting my every desire for this day and more, as I surrendered it entirely to Him

A chance to really put my trust in God – no passport, seriously?
Practically applying what I have been learning to adjust my attitude and go with it
The caretaker of the catholic church driving up there to search for my missing passport after midnight when I called him
Time and spirit to write the letter

Sun Apr 7 – Texas Day 6 – Trip Home

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Airplane taxing driving on on the bridge overhead of us
Curb side baggage check in
Bypass security line
A ride to the gate- hop on
Golden sun lighting up the wing
Apple juice for the road
A new calling to contribute to the online community in a bigger way
Baby curled up on the seat after i put him down, determined to keep sleeping even though our flight was over and everyone was off the plane

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Looking in the mirror – I am a changed woman!
Sky train to our terminal
A great big window to watch the planes
Baby climbing the stairs
Wifi !!
frozen water molecules on the airplane window
Clouds like scoops of ice cream
Pillars of fluffy clouds right outside my window
Despite feeling incredibly nauseous during a rough landing, not actually being sick .

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-That bungee cord that made lugging everything plus the baby possible
-The kind man who made sure I was looked after, to get where I needed to be, plus getting something to eat and a coffee…

-My first divine appt- we could help each other out 🙂 The brand new mobility assistant who not only drove baby and our stuff around but watched pour things when I had to change him and dropped everything to help me find a way to get something printed- which should have been straight forward once we found the machine, but really wasn’t!
-Smoothie and iced coffee so refreshing
-Breaking through the clouds bursting into golden sunset/light
-Spying the city lights, Home sweet home, home sweet hubby!!!

-Holding hands w my man again
-Aw, Thank You Lord that You sent dmil to clean my house while I was gone. You didn’t have to do that…

Mon Apr 8

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Both of us Sleeping in till 10:30
Little hand and wrist and forearm resting in slumber
One of my prayer cards, on display on my stove shelf
A miracle, The Lord has freed me from the heavy iron chains of negativity and the need for control.
Jesus arms wide open to me in welcome on my windowsill
Realizing I can actually see my bedroom floor!
Divine inspiration, to finally change a long-time bad habit
Jesus with my toothbrush

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My big boys, standing on the other side of the front door!
-I missed you Mommy! – Tyler
Baby reaching his arms to hug his big brothers
Brother reunion
3 boys playing cars in the hallway
Nothing like going away for a week to make your kids start listening to you again!
Sharing my Texas testimony with my boys
Noticing a profound change in my oldest
Finding out my son prayed for me while I was away! He prayed I would come back home safe.
(even after he’d stomped his feet a little when I said we were going to do the rosary) – afterwards he was pleasant, agreeable and praying form the heart he said and I noticed… He seemed so different I asked him if he met Jesus while I was away! … and he said yes. ! )
-breaking the bread and sharing blessing with my boys
-finn-mcmissile-races down the ramp
A proper master bed, now up off the floor and complete with a headboard and footboard!

Tues Apr 9
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My oldest w his pope hat
Cars set up like a movie poster
Bungee cord Bridge
Our daily schedule, completed with pictures at last!
Styrofoam block tower
hubby went shopping, and brought home oj- for himself to drink

Wed Apr 10

A dime stuck to my leg when I got up
oj in the fridge, a small miracle
W god’s help getting everyone out the door in time for mass, and even having time to get juice for the kids!
that same sweet aroma for a moment when I walk into the chapel for adoration
kids praying good morning prayers before blessed sacrament
Sharing about my trip w church friends
Coffee and cake after mass

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The kids w the church pamphlets spread out eagerly looking through them
Holy giggles-Don’t eat Jesus, unless it’s at Holy Communion!
Just having fun w my boys again!
Baby sitting in his brother’s lap

Thurs Apr 11

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Baby noah: – pointed to the rosary page and said, ‘Je-susssss 🙂
Middle son, helping me pray people into the prayer jar
Our Father enthusiasm screaming the words!
My brother’s Lego great escape shirt
Baby trying to bless himself for the gospel
The boys arranging their snacks
3 kids around a plastic BBQ
The stains in my shirt that won’t come out, that remind me of deeper truths (sin)
The dust spilling like confetti from the fan blades..
Sonic free rider surfing in the living room

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These words from a guest post on Ann’s Blog are still echoing in my soul and they are nurtuting humility and changing my worldview:

 

It’s no longer the bad news; it’s the best news in the world because it’s not that Jesus loves his bummer lambs more –

it’s just that they actually dare to believe it.

 

Now that it’s holy week epseically, more than simply choosing fiath, I’ve been daring to REALLY believe everything, that ALL OF IT  really happened.

 

An Except for context:

“Every now and then, an ewe will give birth to a lamb and immediately reject it. Sometimes the lamb is rejected because they are one of twins and the mother doesn’t have enough milk or she is old and frankly quite tired of the whole business. They call those lambs, bummer lambs. Unless the shepherd intervenes, that lamb will die.

So the shepherd will take that little lost one into his home and hand feed it from a bottle and keep it warm by the fire. He will wrap it up warm and hold it close enough to hear a heart beat. When the lamb is strong the shepherd will place it back in the field with the rest of the flock.

“Off you go now. You. can. do. this. I’m right here.”
The most beautiful sight to see is when the shepherd approaches his flock in the morning and calls them out, “Sheep, sheep, sheep!”
The first to run to him are the bummer lambs because they know his voice.

It’s not that they are more loved — it’s just that they believe it.

I am so grateful that Christ calls Himself the Good Shepherd.
“He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them,
and they follow him because they know his voice.”
John 10:3-4 (NLT)

In the most painful place in my life, hospitalized with severe clinical depression, I too learned the most profound lesson, we are loved because we are His – not because we can do tricks like seeing people approaching from behind!
Until the day I see Jesus face to face — I will be a bummer lamb.

It’s no longer the bad news; it’s the best news in the world because it’s not that Jesus loves his bummer lambs more –
it’s just that they actually dare to believe it.”

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Feb 20

A few months ago I recieved an invitation to a SUM conference in April. It was to be held in the southern US and that is a long way to travel for a Canadian, so I smiled at the thought and then it settled to the back of my mind.

Well, it didn’t stay there. As the Holy Spirit so often does when we don’t respond to His leading the first time, the idea resurfaced and has stuck with me. After reading a post in which God spoke to Lynn about someday having to step down from her ministry – and maybe soon – it did highlight a sense of urgency with this particular conference. I have longed to meet Lynn ever since I found in her such a kindred spirit and before the announcement of the conference my best inspiration was that if we took the boys to Cars Land in the next couple years then while we were in California I could meet up with her since that’s where she lives, but it was really only a pipe dream.

Then last night I did a bit more thinking and discerning about the conference. It started after I woke up from a strange (as in how did that get there) dream about tornados – little ones that would spring up out of nowhere… and winds that were so strong you had to bunker down. Like every 5 minutes :S

Besides the whole I’ve never done this before, flying by myself is nerve racking because what if I miss/get the wrong plane! There is a certain amount of fear associated with traveling all alone, with an infant, to a state down south where I’ve never been. Strange city, young woman all alone… you know.

Fear… what was I just reading about fear the other day? Fear: A catalyst for growth, a chance to really put my trust in God. This would certainly be an opportunity to do plenty of that!

If the main reason I don’t think I will go is fear, then I think I have my answer, but still, how do I know if God really wants me to go? – yes it could be a once in a life-time opportunity., I know I will learn from the conference itself and the whole experience like I always do, and I long to meet Lynn in person and feel called to go to meet some OTHER community members. If I was only going for the talks then yes it would be incredibly selfish to take off far away for a few days and pay that kind of money for such a short conference – but it’s so much more than that – meeting Lynn, and Dineen, and establishing a personal community, a major adventure with really only God as my guide and a definite opportunity to grow leaps and bounds in my faith and my marriage.

DH was concerned about the money and asked if it would be web cast etc… but otherwise he seemed ok with it. He didn’t seem to think it that crazy of me to want to head to the southern united states all of a sudden for a 2-3 day whirwind trip. Huh. Of course there is still the money, but I can work something out, if God wants me to go, afterall, I didn’t have all the money for Rise Up either, and it was still a very worthwhile experience.

Also, I always find it easier to make a concrete change when I’m at a conference. I mean, when I just resolve 1 day to make a change, it usually doesn’t stick, it’s when the resolve is coupled with an EXPERIENCE that I find myself truly changing on a deeper level.

Sometimes God asks you to do some crazy things. And, if I’m honest in the pursuit of holiness in all my decisions, then this is actually a pretty easy one. These words from a book I’ve been reading came to mind:

“The saints simply asked themselves, “What is God’s will for this moment” If they concluded that something would help them draw nearer to God and the best version of themselves God desired them to be, then they embraced it.

When I think about whether this trip would help make me the best version of myself, I know it would force me to rely on God in a big way, it would teach me more about the world and people far away that I could share God’s heart for them, it would be a fulfillment of a dream and it would help me grow in my marriage as well. There is no doubt about that one, so even though it’s expensive, I just might go. I even prayerfully had the idea that when I go to buy my ticket at the airport we can check out the plane museum as a family. (Update, DH thought it would be crazy to go to the airport to book a flight :S)

Overall my best friend ( my outside voice of reason and wisdom) was really supportive and excited for me. She said – I think it’s a great opportunity and you should go for it, but I also think there will be huge obstacles’, which is true, but nice to know she doesn’t think I’m crazy for wanting to go! Turns out my spiritual director thought it was not unreasonable either. 🙂

It still doesn’t feel real yet, but I have great peace and I’m starting to see the pieces coming together bit by bit.

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