Archive for the ‘NFP’ Category

I don’t have that many goals/dreams for my life, mainly just: to get hubby to heaven, to have a little girl of my own, and to have a house (not a mini home, a house with a yard) all our own. That, and maybe someday when my kids are gone and hubby is retired to see some more of the world.

This week it became clear to me that I am definitely not ready to have another baby for another 2 to 3 years. Before that the decision was not to have any more before I got through school (2 is enough to juggle courses around!) and just to be safe, not to get pregnant until after I had graduated (about a year from now).

First off the thought of giving birth is still very off putting, the last one was tougher and I’m not ready to get back in that saddle just yet.

But thinking about it more I realize that there is more to it than that. First off, if we have another baby then we will have to find a new place, DMIL says she doesn’t want to bring any more than 2 kids into her house. For all my complaining in the past that I’ve wanted to get out of here and into a place of our own, I no longer feel that push to get away. I actually kind of like my in-laws now and I do enjoy us all living together in a community, all 3 generations. Basically, I have too good a thing going here. I have extra hands when I need help, a deck for my toddler to play on in nice weather, a beautiful garden in which to pray (which I find I have previously taken for granted the ability to walk out and sit in whenever I want, as I envision the effort it would currently require for me to do just that!) and we are in a great location. There is a playground up the road about 3 minutes walk, a farm market down the road and new friendships forming with other mom’s of young kids in the neighborhood. The positives far outweigh any negatives, God’s plan to bring us here is absolutely genius, and a tremendous blessing in our lives. There, I said it. I’m happy living here with the in-laws!

I’m happy here for a few more years, which will give us time to save up a good decent down payment so that we can look fro something maybe 125-150 range, and get a decent house that’s not too far away.

The third and probably the most sound grounds to base this decision on is that I definitely feel called to work on loving the family I have rather than to grow it. When we learned about NFP I was taught that you pray and discern carefully each month between these 2 options.

This past week It has become crystal clear to me that I am too busy as it is. There are some days I feel I am missing out on the baby’s growing up because I am focused on my toddler (keeping him entertained and out of trouble, and spending time with him at this precious age). The baby often gets left in a room by himself as I leave the room for whatever reason and forget about him. I still have to work on balancing both of their needs and I want to give these 2 my full attention while they are still little, and it would be unwise to bring a third child into the mix at present. I don’t want to miss out, and I don’t want my children to miss out on the best mummy they can have either.


Read Full Post »