Giving God Everything

I love the perspective in this video. 🙂

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Trial by Fire

Jan 24

Yeah, the holy fire of purification really hurts sometimes.

Last night:

I got up from a nap on the couch shortly after 6pm and DH was still not home, and no phone call either. The phone had rung ONCE around 5, but I was trying to nap and didn’t get it. At the time I figured it was him asking if it was ok to stop and get the moustrap from the hardware store, which would make him a little late, probably about 5:30. He didn’t call back and he didn’t leave a message.

About 6:15 when he still wasn’t home I dragged myself off the couch and tried the cell, several times, then called his parents thinking maybe he had gone there for some reason, but they hadn’t heard anything. They said to call back if he wasn’t home by 7.

Since I was all alone with most kids asleep, I had only God to talk to, and talk I did. I could barely get out a decent prayer, I kept asking the universe at large, ‘where is my husband!?’ trying to keep the panic out of my voice. And I pleaded with God, ‘Please! Just bring him home! Please!’ I knew God knew where he was.

I couldn’t feel God but was relying on His strength alone. All my hope was in Him, espeically that somehow this would all have a happy ending; that years from now we’d look back and laugh.

And yet somehow, I still had perspective. I didn’t complain, I didn’t try to fight it. I knew that this moment was God’s will for me, whatever happened. As hard, as painful as it was, I knew that God had a plan and I chose to trust Him, because I didn’t know what else to do. I was aware that in the grand scheme of the universe and God’s plan that this was a little thing and I was prepared to accept whatever reality God had for me, but I knew this would happen ONLY by His grace.

—As hard as it is, I am trusting You; because I don’t know what else to do.

I knew in my head that God was close – my heart was breaking and He is close to the broken hearted – but I couldn’t feel Him, I still felt alone. I found myself face to face with the hard reality that my husband might never come home. I thought about the very real possibilty of being a single Mom to 3 little boys and raising these 3 kids all by myself; I was surprised and hurt by the thought that I might never have any more. I wondered if that really could be the best posssible good, I thought surely my kids would be better off if they had their father, would God really allow this to happen? And yet, there are many kids that grow up in such an environment, and many women who have to face most of their life alone. I pushed these thoughts out of my mind as much as possible, refusing to face them head on, unil I had to.

I didn’t want to call my Mom, even though I felt I needed her, because I didn’t want to worry her. So I called my best friend instead because I depserately needed someone to talk to. I was going crazy all alone but she didn’t pick up the phone when I called. I had to try to occupy my mind so I put on my praise and worship music. It helped a little, and I remember as best I could, offering up my anguish. Instead of my usual intentions though, I felt I had to focus my prayers on my husband; not that he would come home safe, but for his soul (he is an athesit). I tried my friend again a few more times and I did reach her. She did her best to comfort me and take my mind off things.

When he still wasn’t home at 7, I called my In-Laws back again and we discussed what to do next. They said if I hadn’t heard from him by 8 we’d have to go look for him, whatever that means. I eventually called my Mom too, and she said she’d come out. With my husband MIA I needed the extra support anyway but I was also feeling sick and had a pounding headache, and I was desperate for some sleep.

Finally about 7:30 the car pulled into the driveway. I had worn out the floor between the sunroom and the kitchen with worry. When he walked in the door he saw me visibly upset and heard me hang up the phone saying ‘he’s here now, bye.’ When I expressed my exasperation in asking where he was, he was relieved to find out that HE was the object of all the worry. He said he’d thought someone had died, to which I replied, ‘so did I!’

He pointed to his mouth and the paper he had handed me and mumbled that he was at the dentist, in a tone that expressed that I should have known. He had told me ONCE last week before I went away that he would be going, and probably told me when but it wasn’t enough to register, let alone remember after a weekend retreat when the previous friday seemed worlds away. He had been calling to find out if it was ok if he went straight there and didn’t come home first, and when I didn’t answer he assumed that it was! (I usually make an effort to get the phone, so if I don’t answer chances are things aren’t going well and the sooner he’s home the better.)

He was happy to be the reason for all the worry…I was just relieved to have him home.

Looking back, it was all because of my time at the retreat that I was able to stay close to God through this ordeal. I think that if I had not been so close to God to begin with, I would not have handled it well. I remember at the time I couldn’t feel God at all, but still I managed to cling to that Hope. Another day and I think I would have felt angry because it was MY husband, and probably would have given in to despair, especially when I couldn’t feel that comfort from God when I needed it most.

I knew tremendous graces had been poured out during my time at the retreat, I could just feel it, but I had no idea I would be putting them to use so soon. Even as I was confronting a very scary uncertainty, I stayed close to God, crying out and pleading with Him, though I coudn’t feel His presence. I was crying out to God while at the same time knowing that I was going to accept whatever happened and that, with God, I would make it through even the worst possible scenario.

I knew in my heart that I WOULD get through it, with God. It wasn’t just the knowledge that God can get people through anything but also partly sheer determination. Facing the very real possiblity of the worst, I was not so comforted by thoughts of God and heaven, so it was mostly an act of will that chose the route of acceptance. (Thinking back on this, writing over a week later, I realized I should really apply this thinking to all my little frustrations and disappointments.)

I’ve always maintained that it’s easier to face a big trial, a big suffering, than a small one. Of course that was hypothetical at the time as I had never faced anything really major since I found the Lord. Now, I don’t remember when but for a long time I have had a deep resolve that when that time did come for me, that I would not desert Him or turn away, even when it was my turn to bear great pain. We will all suffer, greatly, in this life. Our hearts WILL be pierced, and it’s not a matter of if but when. Our time on this earth is hard on all of us, but we can never truly escape from pain and suffering this side of heaven. But that’s why God is there, walking along side of us; ready to pick us up when we fall, to carry us when we feel we can no longer go on, and to heal the wounds of our hearts.

After going through the hardest 2 hours of my life, I still think that facing a big trial is easier than a small one, simply because when it’s something that big, it’s out of our control. When we can’t fix it on our own, we have nowhere else to turn but to throw ourselves at God’s feet of mercy.

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7 Quick Takes: A Test of Faith, Testing my New Routine and Testing out more Manual Settings

1. I had a brief retreat recap here, but with the pictures it got way too long not to be it’s own post.

2. I knew this retreat had definitely been a time of great spiritual growth for me, but I had no idea that my renewed faithfulness would be put to the test so soon. Monday night, fresh from the retreat the day before, I faced the hardest 2 hours of my life.

Then, one morning this week, I finally had the chance to pull out 1000 Gifts again. It had been a while since I read it, so I was rereading some of the chapter to get back into it, and I read these words:

“It is suffering that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace. And grace that chooses to bear the cross of suffering overcomes that suffering.”

How timely, in light of both labor and what I had just gone through Monday night! Yes, it turned out ok in the end and I made it through, but EVEN if it hadn’t, the acceptance that I hoped I could continue to bring to w/e situation I found myself in would have allowed me to overcome even that pain. Because, when you accept the suffering you feel, the pain you experience, it no longer has power over you. You become free from its chains, and you overcome it.

3. This week I have been trying to follow the new routine that I drafted while on the retreat. I knew it was time to make a change and that I didn’t want to waste any more days just sitting in front of the computer. Still, the changes I felt called to make were about more than just being off the computer, and that to really see the change I wanted, I also had to have a plan for how I would use that extra time.

I have wanted to use my time well and have tried following a routine a few times in the past, but it has never stuck. As I embarked on this one I tried to make things different. In the past I had every 30 min planned out and when I tried to follow it I’d constantly be wondering: ‘what am I supposed to be doing right now?’

That was back when I lived with my in-laws. Now that we’ve moved out, there is more of a daily rhythm. My days are more structured and I have a better idea of the hard stops: the things that need to happen at a specific time, so I marked these in bold, and if the rest of the day doesn’t follow the schedule exactly, then it’s no big deal. This is much easier to keep track of in my head. It also helps me to actually stick to it, since it’s not an impossible goal. Especially with the little baby, it would be madness to try to follow a fixed schedule every minute of the day! This method ensures I have the flexibility I need to be able to stick with it, and not fall off the wagon and give up.

So, how did it go?

The routine is happening, but in bits and pieces. The resolve to make a change has actually compelled me out of bed every morning by 7:30 so I can get in my time with the Lord, when before I would usually try to go back to sleep again till after 8. The schedule itself has also given me more time in the day; I’ve had a short quality time with the Lord each morning, I found the time to make muffins with the kids one day, and I’m proud to say I made dinner for my family every night this week! Some days were more of a struggle than others. I never got the daily room cleaned each day, though I did do more laundry and dishes than before, but in addition, I didn’t manage to get in even one session of story time, and that’s scheduled in 2x a day :S .

I am tweaking the routine as I go, finding out what works, and what doesn’t. It’s definitely a work in progress, but already I feel I’m getting more done and getting more out of life and my days. Next week I hope we will get some time to read, and maybe even have one clean room in the house each day. I do think that as I get used to the routine I will begin to find even more time in the day… and especially when the baby gets older! On Thursday morning I was the first one up and I had the house to myself for close to an hour and it was glorious! I can’t wait until this is the norm!

4. As part of the new routine, I have increased my prayer time in the mornings. In addition, I wanted the old daily offering I pray to really be that, an offering, because some morenings I feel I’m just reciting a rote prayer. (Sidenote: when I would pray it with my 2 year old in the room back when I was still pregnant, he actually started to join in, as soon as I’d say ‘pregnancy aches and pains’ he would chime in ‘heartburn’ (hah-brr). I’ve also incorporated a light variation of the serenity prayer and with this resolve to try to embrace my cross, I have grown closer to the Lord. One morning this week as I made my morning offering etc, I actually felt as if I was in God’s presence. There was that sense of surrender as in adoration, as well as a humble resolve to serve (I made the decision to embrace my cross and by golly I am going to do that as best I can – even when it hurts!) Humble resolve AND dependence, because I know how I’d much rather run in the opposite direction.

For my morning prayer time I’ve added in bible reading because I’m no longer doing it at night. I also picked up the Word Among Us booklet I’d brought home one night and noticed it has daily reflections/readings, so I’ve been reading through that each day as well. I really like it, I have the actual word of God in my scripture reading and then a reflection as well.They don’t seem to be related but every morning I have really been struck by either one or the other. I like the sense of balance with having both to read.

The first reflection in the Word Among Us was on evangelization and watching the garden grow:

“we can be sure that no seed sown will end up fruitless! … Once we sow the seed of God’s word, no matter how much we may want to hurry things along, it remains God’s work! Conversion doesn’t depend on our ability to tell a good story or give a good witness. It depends on the mystery of God’s revelation in the secret place of each person’s heart. ”

The moral of the story? : don’t worry, just plant the seeds!

5. This week I tried the slow-cooker stuffed peppers recipe.

They were good, especially when I added tomato sauce over-top like my father used to, but they still did not match the ones from my childhood, and they could have used a bit more flavor. I didn’t expect DH to try them so I made him something else, so I don’t know whether in the future he would eat them or not. I do know though, that even if he did eat them, it would not be one of his favorites.

6. This week the mom who ran Alpha in the fall organized a ladies night. She invited a bunch of moms out to Starbucks for ‘a night of knitting, crochet, whatever fits in your purse and you can bring to a coffee shop’, and of course a coffee and time to chat. I went for the coffee and chat, and to share the baby. I tried knitting once when I was around 12 and my mom still went to her knitting meetings but I was never very good at it, and never had a great interest in making scarfs/sweaters etc. I feel I have enough of those, however, this evening has sparked new ideas should I someday take up the hobby: cute hats for me as well as kids, mittens and purses, and of course doll clothes. Also, if I were to start hooking yard, I would probably try crocheting instead. From what everyone was saying it is easier and feels more rewarding because you can get more done in s shorter amount of time. Works for me.

7. I had the chance to play with the manual settings a little at the retreat and was amazed at the difference. By simply lowering the ISO, the same photo went from dark and grainy to bright and absolutely no grain! It’s incredible that a simple setting adjustment can make that much of a difference!

Before:

ISO tweak:

Brightened in Picasa:

Ta daa!

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7 Quick Takes: Colic, Cornbread and Farewell to Christmas

Jan 20

1. Yes, you read the title correctly, I’m pretty sure the new baby has colic. It’s affecting his nursing and his sleep, espeically at night. Nursing he will pull off early making a mess and often he won’t sleep more than 5 or 10 minutes if I lay him down. Sitting up, he does better. It was getting pretty bad, Mummy really can’t deal with crying every NIGHT for too lnog without beginning to go crazy. DMIL suggested he had colic, and I was starting to suspect he had it to some degree already. So we bought some gripe water. It seems to be hit or miss, but when it’s works it WORKS. There have been several nights with no crying and a 5 hr stretch of sleep. If only I could train myself EACH TIME to change him and feed both sides so he has a full tummy, I’d probably have more down time.

2. This week we packed up the Christmas tree (so it’s not going to still be there in February!) I was less sad to see it go because it wasn’t that decorated this year and also because I know it bugs DH to have it on all the time, since it eats up a lot of power. That, and I still have my *winter* archway 🙂 We put the playpen it it’s place as a safe space for the baby. I just found out it has a bassinet attachment! I had no idea, but always thought those things were really neat. So it’s baby’s little space (except the big kids like to try to play in there and with his toys 🙄 )

3. On Sunday we finally had our family Christmas party. Usually we have it before New Years, when it’s still the Christmas season but I guess everyone was just busier this year. It was a nice afternoon of good food, better company and great photo ops 🙂

Food

Family

The secret is out!

Presents

Baby!

More Babies!

They had this incredible little dollhouse made out of a little bookshelf. How cute is this?

4. I realized something that really bugs me if I try to take a picture of my kid with an object in front of them (like a cake). I have a habit of always focusing on the cake, but it would be a much better photo if I always focused on the kid, even if it looks strange with the cake out of focus. I have to remember that as a photographer, I don’t always have to focus on the closets thing!

Note to self, focus on the kid, not the cake.

5. I really do like my slow cooker, now that I’m using it more. I finally filled it up with water to test how big it is, I have a 3.5 quart. Looking at it I always thought it was one of the bigger ones, so probably 5 or 6 quarts, but for a slow cooker it’s actually on the small side!

This week I broke it out for another new recipe: bbq chicken and cornbread. Sounded excellent, what a great combination and both things that I know DH will eat, so I made it.

I would agree the cornbread needed work, it wasn’t as light or as sweet as both of us like, but while I was still content to eat it, DH was less than thrilled. Sigh. He can be so hard to cook for. I really need to find more easy, complete-meal slow cooker recipes that he will eat. I love my slow cooker, it frees me up for other things like tending the baby, blogging, facebook and cleaning up potty accidents.

I already thought this blog was awesome (it’s provided the slow-cooker recipes) then I found this : How to Company Clean in 30 minutes or Less. Makes me feel a little less crazy to know I’m not the only one who goes through the house with a laundry basket sometimes.

6. Our 3 year old is basically potty trained, even at night! He wakes up dry in the morning and will even get up and take himself to the bathroom in the dark of night if he needs to go!
However, my 2 year old is not. He was doing great till shortly before the baby came, when I stopped nursing him in my bed etc… Then he spent a week in diapers at Nanny’s when the baby was born. I resolved to get that ground back as soon as we were home again, and I’ve got him going to the potty SOMETIMES. I’m not sure if he really forgets etc or if he just doesn’t care, because he still has a fair number of accidents, enough that he goes back in diapers for the rest of that day… *mental screams of anguish!*

7. This weekend I’m heading off to another CCO retrerat. It’s early this year (it’s usually closer to spring) but we’ll be alright, the cabins are heated. Obvisouly I will be taking the littlest one with me, and hopefully there will be lots of people wanting to hold him so I can take notes! The speaker is none other than one of our beloved parish priests from my old church (before they took the Companions away). Should be a good weekend, the Lord knows I can certainy use a Mommy break to rest and recharge!

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Winter Retreat 2012

This retreat was a great experience for me. Not only was it such a blessing to have a break away with just the baby, but I also heard some great talks, got to spend some quiet time in my head and really think about everything and even got to have some fun too. It was also perfect timing (and I wondered why the retreat had to be so early this year!) as I had just stumbled onto the Hello Mornings Challenge which strengthened my resolve to make some changes. What better time to make big life changes than right after a quiet weekend away on retreat?!

We drove in a major snowstorm to get there…

…which then turned to rain and froze overnight.

There were lots of people to hold the baby…

…which meant had my hands free to play dutch blitz! (similar to double solitaire, a childhood favorite).

The first night I was paired up with another girl who I didn’t know but both of us had played this type of game before and so we were very good at it. We made a great team and kept on winning. It was so much fun!

Playtime!

Snapshots:

And of course, there was Father Allan, in fine form as always:

‘I’m amazed at the multi-tasking, she’s holding the baby with one hand and taking pictures of me with the other!

‘God’s not finished yet. The retreat’s not over until everyone gets to hold the baby!’

Point taken, Father!

Interestingly, I had heard a lot of what Fr Allan said before, at the lenten mission, but this time I heard it with fresh ears. (It is said that you need to hear something 7 times before you hear everything.)

Some of the biggest things I took away and want to apply to my daily life I wrote at the top of my routine, in the hope that I will read them over every morning and be reminded to apply them to my day:

–Whatever happens today, Life is not an Emergency!
(these words have been pressing on my heart ever since I read them in 1000 gifts and I keep forgetting this, so it went at the top of the list!)

–Will you serve Me today? Will you die to yourself, for Me?
When I’m with the Lord I always resolve to serve Him but when I’m back home with the daily struggles of raising little ones it all comes undone. I am tired or just lazy, and I don’t do things I know he wants me to. At this retreat I deepened my resolve and renewed that commitment with the intent of making it happen. When I don’t feel like it, I need only remind myself that this is what it is to serve God, and then hopefully I’ll be able to smarten up and do it!

–Then(if yes): ‘Do the Next Right Thing.‘
This is the duty of the moment. If we follow this simple rule we will always walk with the Lord because we will always be doing God’s will.

–Do your duty with a smile, plan to face each of these tasks etc WITH God and FOR God.
Since all the things I face as a mom of 3 little boys are God’s will for me that day, then every little thing I do I do for Him. When I remember that I’m serving God it gives even little tasks great purpose: I am taking care of His children.

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Morning Serenity

Lord,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
The wisdom to know the difference,
And the grace to embrace my cross today.

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Like it Doesn’t Hurt

Jan 12

“To love like my heart has never been broken,
trust like I’ve never been burned,
to give of myself with both arms wide open,
forgive and forget like it doesn’t hurt,
I know that You’ll do your part,
so right now, I promise to start
to love like my heart has never been broken.”

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(I heard this great song on the radio and it really speaks to me, but I can’t find out what it is from the lyrics :()

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Hello Morning/Day – Day 1

So much for my new routine… The baby was fussy overnight and this morning, and before I was even ready to get up my 2 year old was calling out from his room. I was already done with the day and I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet! I couldn’t even pray, so I just closed my eyes and was still. Then I did a bit of spiritual breathing to let go of frustration. However, neither kid was staying quiet for me to pray, so I just sat and quietly sang a simple song of surrender. That was it. I didn’t read my bible, I didn’t plan my day, I didn’t even make my bed.

While the kids had their show on I wanted to try, and I did put on my focus on the family broadcast, over 10 min late. Then there was a potty incident (agh!) and by the time that was done baby was already crying again.
It’s almost 11, still wondering if I can get a few minutes peace to finish…

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Time to Reorder

Today I discovered something called the Hello Mornings Challenge.

“What we are about to embark on with the Hello Mornings Challenge is no small thing. It’s not a cute “bloggy” challenge for adorable little stay at home moms. It’s not about getting through a Bible Study or checking something off a list. It’s not even about the challenge.

THIS is about meeting with the living God who loves you beyond your wildest comprehension.

THIS is about consistently putting yourself at the feet of the One who can heal you completely, equip you thoroughly, and use you powerfully.”

I want that.

And I want to make the most of my days… To fail to plan is to plan to fail, I’m tired of trying to fly by the seat of my pants day in and out. It’s a habit developed when I was pregnant and tired ALL DAY. I spent it at the computer on the defensive rather than the offensive. I often get food for all of us way too late, so we’re often hungry and I get sucked in to the computer- and don’t even use that time well. And I totally forget about God! I need that ME time back… but not at night. And once a week is not enough…

DH commented yesterday that he read my post…about being on the computer less…. And said I wasn’t following through and ‘just thinking about it’ wasn’t enough….That’s fair. It seems like it really is time to make a change again, I know I’ve been wanting to get back to reading 1000 gifts, if nothing else…

But I’m so behind!!!

Then use the time better… Ugh. I have so much to catch up on…

What do I do if this is what’s holding me back, work like crazy to catch up and THEN make changes? That will probably never happen….

1 hr faith/journal/typing (morning)
1 hr pics (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
1 hr fun stuff like blog reading and facebook(after lunch, 1 2hr movie)

Certainly, if uninterrupted, I could get a LOT done in the afternoon with this breakdown.

Maybe it really is time for a change.

I really can’t do super early mornings at present with a newborn, but I really want to get more out of the time I do have…

What can I do as the smallest of steps? :

**-get back to my thank you at the end of the day!!!!!

*add sharing my heart with God and some time to listen to morning prayer
*add bible reading to the morning
-add praise music too??
-read/type more of 1000 gifts in am?
*start to plan my day, at least a little… that means planning: breakfast/lunch, Focus on Family, pc time, chores to do… and supper.

I want a bit of a routine – that includes book time for kids and me. I’ve made routines in the past and they’ve always failed miserably. MAYBE if I made a routine AND READ IT OVER EVERY MORNING, things might actually change?!

So now I want a detailed routine… to help keep me on track and plan… But sitting and drafting that now would be another project tying me to the computer, when I really should be stepping away. I think it’s something I will do while I’m away this weekend, when I have more time to myself. A retreat is a perfect catalyst for change, I can start taking the early morning God and Me time, and have that established 2 days in a row, before I try to reincorporate the rest.

But I still think I’m going to do mornings a little differently starting tomorrow. I NEED a bit more. It’s just hard, because the baby and often my 2 year old will get up VERY soon after I do, regardless of what time it is. I’m starting simple, just a bit more substance to my morning prayer than the same (good) words every morning, and also the bible-since I’m just not reading it before bed since the baby came. And make the bed, regardless before I leave the room.

‘If you are ready to make the most of your mornings, then consciously make the decision. Write it down. Tell someone. Blog about it. Set your alarm. Commit.’ (from the e-book).

This is the reason for this blog post: – as a form of commitment to making a real change – wordy and convoluted though this post may be.

Things to include when I draft my new daily routine:

-day plan and prayer time to plan to meet the day with god etc.. each thing… have him there!
-1 hr faith/journal/typing (morning)
-1 hr pics (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
-1 hr fun stuff (after lunch, 1 2hr movie)
-dishes/kitchen (2x+ esp before bed and aft lunch)
-laundry?
-cooking
-book time w kids
-book time for me in the evening -aft supper? – w laptop maybe but not pc
-kid quiet with tv shows…so mumym can have her time
-fed before then…
-fun morning activity – at least play toys tv off by 9:30? – mummy’s chore time
-big kid activity list, for once baby is big enough to not need me all the time.

The post title really is inspired from another blog title: Time to Reorder

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To my readers: it already feels like it’s not going to happen and the post isn’t even published yet. Please help keep me accountable!

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7 Quick Takes – More Playtime (less TV), a Playpen and a Photography Lesson

1. This past week I have been more involved with CCO and engaging my faith more than the usual day to day at home, and God has felt so much closer! (as in w/o thinking, most days I took it for granted that He was with me, it was just automatic) It is just awesome to see what God does in me, when I’m out doing things for Him. I’ve got to work on having the ‘serve God in this’ mentality when I’m home every day…

2. Also, I found a great new blog, by someone I know. This post about Mary really warmed my heart:

“When motherhood has felt like such a tall order, when I doubted my ability to actually instruct a child in how to be a follower of Christ, she has taken me by the hand.
She is gentle, she is silent. Her silence gives me a space to cry when I need to, and a listening ear to take these cries to her Son.

When I have felt overwhelmed by my lack of natural homemaking skills, she takes me by the hand.
She is orderly, she is diligent. She “does not eat the bread of idleness” and has guided my hands and heart to knead bread with love, to wipe a counter in prayer.

After all, she did these things for her Holy Family, too.

When I have felt too little, like a child who can’t find her mother in a crowded store, she comes running to me.
She is strong. She “makes haste” to be at my side, and shows me that “I can do all things in him who strengthens me.”

When I have felt less than lovely, less than worthy, she smiles her tender and knowing smile and stands in her unhampered, unselfconscious stance. This is how she shows me that she is a real woman, made beautiful because of her passionate love for Jesus.”

Wow, this is the relationship with Our Lady that I want to have. The post did inspire me with a first step: to try to bring all the little things to her. She’s the one to pray to, when we want our cooking to turn out (and probably when it doesn’t as well!)

3. My best friend still has her baby, and the father is still reluctant but sticking around. But now its her parents that are driving her crazy and causing problems. Her father just doesn’t understand why she didn’t/won’t have an
abortion, given how things just haven’t been working out. And both of them are pressuring her to move out and in with the father, even though neither she nor the father wants to at present.

Since she has become pregnant, she has had a lot of questions for me, and I have felt so blessed to answer them and to be there for her. She was somewhat surprised to hear how blessed I’ve felt, and she told me seriously that she didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t have my mom and I supporting her. God is already using me in a BIG way She still doesn’t know how it will all work out. Her plan is to have the baby and see if she can take care of it, and if she really is as miserable as everyone says she will be (I doubt it) then she will consider adoption. Meanwhile, however, she keeps amassing baby stuff in a corner of her room.

This week she was asking me if it was a good idea to get a playpen or if she should get a crib. I agreed with her that a playpen is much more portable and that she really didn’t need a crib. She told me about a great little playpen she saw that doubles as a bassinet and change table and was on sale. It’s grey with little elephants and she thought it was cute. She had wanted to get it but had no way to transport it and when she was there again with her mother, her mother forbid it. She said it was the last one and I felt that if it was something she wanted for baby then she should have it, so I offered to pick it up for her. And she blessed me by accepting. So after the mission night I stopped in to walmart and got it. She was right, it is pretty cute!

4. The baby would get pretty fussy and it seemed like he was always hungry. Since I am nursing two of them, I wondered if maybe my big kid was taking too much milk (like right before I nursed the baby) so now I make a point of feeding the baby first, or feeding my 2 year old the side the baby had just had. It seems to have helped.

5. This week I decided it’s time to cut back on the tv. When we were potty training it was easier because it kept them in one place etc. When I was 9 months pregnant and exhausted it helped keep them out of my hair. But now that the kids are mostly trained, the baby is out, and mummy is starting to feel a bit more rested, there really is no excuse for having it on all day without rest. I was also feeling disappointed about how little the boys were playing wither their new train table. My 3 year old would go out occasionally when he was bored of tv but mostly they just sat on the couch etc, asking for show after show. Turning off the tv mad them have to find something else to do, and they played with toys more.

It also helped that I fixed up the train tracks. They are both still too little to really build a track, and my 3 year old (rightly so) didn’t really want to play trains with broken tracks. So I repaired Daddy’s old layout, then remade my own, that fits closely with the map on the table.

I’m really pleased with it, it has everything: a bridge over the river, a little boat/rescue area by the water, a forest, a quarry, a downtown with a railroad crossing, and even a zoo!

The only thing missing is the mountain, but we can make another layout with that some other time. I was so pleased with my layout, I kind of kept the kids out and took some photos first. 😛

With regard to the tv, I probably should also add no pc time for mummy when the tv is off, to be fair and especially since it really seems to eat up a lot of my time. It’s just frustrating when I still can’t get things done on the computer either, but maybe if I limit my time again I will be more focused when I do sit down here? It is definitely something I’m thinking about, but so far, not making a lot of progress on.

6. When I was at the mission training night, I learned some valuable camera tips. There is another girl there with a Nikon (1 model up from mine) and I asked her how she shoots etc, because I’ve seen her photos on facebook, and they look better than mine. I wondered if it was just a better camera, or if she also knew something I didn’t. She said that she shoots with manual. So I mentioned that I couldn’t use manual light etc settings with the auto focus. She took the camera, and put it in manual and proved me wrong: For some reason I never realized I could use M on the dial, instead of the manual focus switch on my lens. I’m so excited that now I CAN use the manual settings, and not have to try to focus manually!

She then explained her trick is to take a photo with auto etc and look at the settings, then match them in manual and tweak it from there. Manual settings really do add a depth to photos that auto just can’t match. Of course, I don’t have time to tweak light settings when I want to snap a quick photo of a kid that will be gone in a matter of moments. But when I have a bit of extra time, I’m going to experiment with this some more. I tried a quick test there, and it really did make for a better photo:

With auto settings:

With manual settings

Edited to brighten a bit:

What a difference!

7. This week I stumbled on a good list of the important things to keep in mind while parenting, especially while raising boys: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

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