1 week away? Small update.

I don’t have 7 things this week, but I suppose I’ll still put a post up.

-On Wednesday evening we moved my computer downstairs to the living room. Hopefully in the long run this will be better for me because I’ll be able to keep an eye on the baby and still do my own thing when he’s amusing himself instead of sitting around bored, and for DMIL because I won’t have to run away upstairs and not watch baby when I go to use my computer. This way I can be on the computer for shorter periods of time more often…and I hope to be able to work on the baby book throughout the day instead of only while he naps.

-As a result of the move the baby book is progressing well, but I still don’t have as much done as I’d like. I’ve picked the photos for just about all the month pages, and written the text to go with it. I just have to narrow down photos for a few other pages and then I can go get them all developed. I also have to finalize the text for a few other pages but most of it is typed how I want it and ready to write in… except a few of the month paragraphs are too long!

-Given that the time I have left with just one kid is dwindling quickly I am just hoping to be able to have enough done on the baby book that there is only a little left undone, and of course perhaps room to add a few things in the future. I figure I have just under a week now, as I feel like I will probably go next weekend sometime, hopefully after Halloween. While I’ve never had the US and calculated due dates not line up, since the US people told me it’s plus or minus 3 weeks, I have to deem the other date more reliable. And since 1st baby fell between the Doctor’s date and my internet one (which allows for cycles that aren’t 28 days) I can only assume baby will show up somewhere between Oct 28 and Nov 1st.

-DMIL brought home some more of the baby things from Blandford, and baby had fun discovering his old toys all over again.

-The other day we went for a fall walk on the trail. DH decided to be silly and pretend to tip the stroller into the river (baby was walking along behind) but as a result the blanket and baby’s bottle fell in. He was able to fish them out but baby didn’t have a blanket for the rest of the trip and later after drinking the bottle, baby through it down while the stroller was on the bridge, and it rolled off into the river again. DH tried to save it but he just missed and we watched it float downstream and out of reach.

Some More Fall Pictures

Rainy Fall Day

Other fall things

7 Quick Takes – Pies and Pumpkins, Finger Paints and Finger Puppets

Posting up the Quick Takes without photos for now. Hope to have them in later today, but the baby book is also a priority.

1. Small possible insights as to why God would want me living here with my in-laws: Having DMIL take over some of the baby’s care and especially seeing him so attached to her has given me a greater desire to do the little tings like feed him and change him, even though they can be a pain. Since doing that I have finally started to feel like a mom, sometimes.
The other reason my be so I can learn to be more forgiving. I didn’t think I had too much trouble with this, but the daily frustrations of living with the in-laws build up and sometimes I tend to hold onto anger and or resentment. Guess I still need some work in this area, but hoping God will let me pass this stage by next summer/fall.

2. On Sunday I went to Mom’s as usual for Brunch etc after church, but the meal didn’t go exactly as planned. However, my in-laws were somehow the saving grace. Most days I don’t need a break from my mom etc, it’s usually the other way around, but for some reason today I did and God had sort of already arranged for that break It was just what I needed that day.

3. That day we’d already planned for them to pick me up on their way to visit some of their family friends. These friends had a cottage about an hour away but had to tear it down for the mold, so instead they built a house on the property, and moved there. Before they had been living in an apartment.

The house was really nice, I especially fell in love with the turquoise curtains in the kitchen/dining room.

I didn’t remember seeing half the stuff before, but they probably had it all in the apartment. Their house now showcases all their nice things.

4. Monday was Thanksgiving here. I had two dinners, one at home, and one at mom’s. Since I figured we’d be out a little late I brought baby’s pajamas to get him ready for bed there. In honor of Thanksgiving I brought his new pumpkin ones We also had a guest for dinner, which I hadn’t expected, my friend’s mom came too.

5. Yesterday we drove up to Kentville to see the pumpkin people. It was cold out, colder than I had thought it would be, but I was dressed fairly warmly (but I didn’t have straw insulation to keep me warm!) On our little outing we also came across a playskool? firetruck by the side of the road for the trash but it wasn’t broken, so we took it.

Check out the leaf in mid fall

Apples

I thought this looked like it could be a fairy glen

The theme for the pumpkin people this year was the 2010 Winter Olympics being held in Vancouver. I found the ski jumping pumpkin I’d seen on the news at the cute little Inn, along with many others so that was one of the places we all got out.

They also had one of those tire horsey swings, so baby and I sat on it, and he got to swing a bit.

6. I decided that THIS WEEK I would pack my bags for the hospital so I’m ready. Unless it happens really soon I don’t want it to be till after Halloween but God probably can’t let baby come till I’m ready and since 2nd babies come faster I can’t be scrambling around packing while in labor. One of the big hold ups has been that there were still a large number of baby clothes at mom’s because she hadn’t had the time to go through and sort them out by size. I was going over to help yesterday evening and she already had it done, so no excuses today, as soon as baby gets up and out of the room I’ve got me some packing to do!

7. Baby tried finger painting this week. I don’t think he was in the right mood to enjoy it as much as he might another time, but he did give it a chance for a little while. He was mostly unhappy about being kept in one place and not able to roam free!
Setting up

Getting progessively mrore covered in paint

He also got 3 finger puppets from the IWK when I went to get bloodwork…. :S Those are for the kids that have to get blood taken….he didn’t… where’s my finger puppet!?

Weekly Update

Jen is not hosting the quick takes this week, so I don’t have to worry about finding 7 things.

-Last week DMIL got out her fall decorations and we both sort of contributed to decorating the house. Fall is my favorite season so I love seeing elements of it indoors as well.

fall shots – decorating the house


Nursery


Bathroom

-Since my due date kept changing and with the last one they say it could be +/- 3 weeks, I really have no idea when the baby is coming, so I guess it’s time I started thinking about getting ready. Most likely it will be right around Halloween, as per the original due dates, but I’m hoping it will be after I take the baby trick or treating. I really should stop calling him that, he’s not really a baby anymore. He’s a toddler!

-A few weeks ago we had a guest pastor, and he used a neat expression I thought I’d share: The Unholy Trinity – Me myself and I.

-My mom and I attended the Life Chain on Sunday. Outdoors. In the pouring rain. We stood there alongside 30+ others holding our signs and praying quietly. It was the most demonstrative thing EITHER of us had ever done. Naturally, not everyone was a fan, but I do remember one lady driving by with a honk and a thumbs up out her window

Here’s a few more rosary shots I took last week:

-The apple picking trip that was supposed to be tomorrow has been canceled due to all the rain. I guess in the end it wasn’t meant to be.

Giving up Control

This post is about getting rid of the comforts of doing things our way, and doing them God’s way instead.

I like to take advantage of the opportunity to go to confession that the Summit provides. This term they haven’t been announcing it and the priest hasn’t been going to the back for it, but I still feel I need it more often than the 2 times a year the churches do it around Christmas and Easter, when you can talk face to face with the priest instead. As a result I see myself going over to ask for a confession at the Summit as becoming a regular thing.

Just like I did before the last Summit I spent time preparing for confession, which includes an examination of conscience and then typing up what I intend to confess.Some people can remember everything they need to say, but I feel more comfortable writing it down. Preparing didn’t feel quite as successful as it has in the past, but I was content with my list so I printed it out and forgot about it.

Later that evening when the time came when the music stopped I took the usual deep breath and walked over. I asked for my confession, and we sat at the other end of the aisle. I unfolded my paper, said the opening and began to read off my sins. Only, they weren’t my sins, when I printed the file I never specified the page number to print, and only put the one piece of paper in. So I was left without my list, without that comfort to go it on my own. The priest was able to guide me through it and I know I didn’t get everything that was on my list, but he said God forgives the sins we forget as well.

I don’t know just why God wanted this to happen, probably something to humble me, and I’m fairly sure next time I go to confession I will have my paper with me, but it was an interesting experience.

Interestingly, some of the advice Father gave me was to ask for the wisdom to know when to give and when to receive. I’m trying to take care of baby as much as possible, and I kind of don’t want help a lot of the time, but I guess I need it so I don’t get too burned out. The 9th month of pregnancy is not for the faint of heart!

7 Quick Takes – Loneliness, An Answered Prayer, Chalk and Crayons

This week’s Quick Takes has some stuff from last week also… I just don’t have time to write separate posts for some of the photos I have, so they end up in shortened form here each week (for example Mahone Bay).

1. Two Sundays ago we went for brunch with a couple friends we hadn’t seen in a really long time. It was cool to catch up and to find out that they are pretty much in the same boat – she’s living with his parents and they want to save for a house too.

2. Two Mondays ago DH and I drove down to Mahone Bay.

It was a beautiful day so after lunch we took a walk along the main road. Several of the houses are painted candy colored and that made me really happy


‘Inspiration’

We also picked up the real estate listings book I mentioned last week.

3. On Saturday I went to my friend’s 23rd birthday party/potluck. Interestingly there were almost none of the same people from her party the previous year and no one that I could say I knew, but I actually thoroughly enjoyed myself. The food was great, we had great adult conversations and for dessert her mom brought out homemade ice cream cake. It was really tasty, and apparently pretty simple to do.

Ice cream Cake:
chill pan
oreo thinsations and melted butter for the crust
chill pan
mix ice cream with crumbled compliments chocolate chip cookies and layer on top of crust
chill pan
top with more oreo crumbs

And the baby behaved for most of the night, until about 8:30 when he got really cranky and we went home soon after.

‘23′

Convo snippet
Guy 1 “Remember that guy from fame, he committed suicide, wait no he died of aids.”
What we were all thinking ‘There’s a big difference’
Guy 2 “like the difference between he fell off a bridge, no, he got shot in the head”…
Someone else: “No, his dog died, that was it.”
Guy 1 “No, I know what it was! His dog committed suicide because he had aids!”

4. On Sunday we went to the Mini home open house. Sadly, we can’t afford a new one unless we were to live in a park, and as nice as the homes are I still wouldn’t want to do that. So if we go this route it will have to be a used mini home.

Of course it wouldn’t come with the rainbow bedding…

Check out the fall colors here

We also went to look at the plot of land we’d seen advertised: “MLS 40659898 $39,500 Deeded ocean access. 3/4 acre previously approved property with large fish pond. Level lot is ready for you to start construction.” They weren’t kidding about large fish pond, it was more like a swamp.
There wasn’t even room for a driveway so we didn’t get to see what was up behind it, but I didn’t see much level land there, besides the swamp itself. DH and I are going to hold off scouting the market much until next year, when we’re ready to seriously consider buying something. Clearly God is not ready for us to leave yet, but I have to assume He will be next year, because DMIL is going to want her house back at some point (in other words she’s going to want us to move also).

5. Praying the rosary seems to be making a difference in my life already. There was a night when I woke up in considerable pain and turned to God to get me through, and I had the patience of a saint phenomenon right after saying the rosary on Saturday, when the baby screamed for 30+ minutes.

6. On Tuesday I decided to check out the playgroup at the other church. Unfortunately, it only made me wish to have our old playgroup back. There was nobody else there, they only had 2 boxes of toys, and then someone else almost came but anther lady said she couldn’t play when there was someone else there :S I just felt so lonely for me and the baby alone in the big empty gym. I got really upset over it, it’s something that’s been bothering me for a while, the lack of companionship with other mom’s of little ones. My church had a playgroup but for a number of reasons the lady decided to stop it. There was a little girl about a month and a half older than my son and there at the last few sessions they were recognizing each other, and it breaks my heart because we may never see them again.

The next day, the prayers in my heart which I hadn’t even articulated to God seem to be answered. At the end of the visit my doula asked if there was any information on any resources centers I might want and I said there was one thing, I want a playgroup. And they have some, and they’re free and presumably fairly well attended. She’s going to bring me more information on them next time. Her resource center also organizes trips, they’re going apple picking in a few weeks and I think I’m going too. I find out today if I get a spot. I’ve always wanted to go apple picking

ETA: The morning came and went and I didn’t hear anything, so I figured it was not meant to be, and then about 2 min after I finished the rosary for the day they called!

7. Here’s some of what baby has been up to lately:

We got him a Growth Chart

He discovered chalk..

and crayons.

7 Quick Takes – Heaven, 40 Days For Life and Real Estate

I’m posting up this week’s Quick Takes now, and hopefully later today will be able to add both the pictures and the proper link to a finished retreat post!

1. The doula place finally called me back last week. The lady who was my doula last time would like to do it again so that’s great I haven’t heard from her yet though to set up a meeting… Oh well, still got a little over a month.

2. Last Friday CCO put on a social event called Dinner and a Movie. It was a potluck, and almost all the main dishes had meat in them. It seems the CCO people don’t know the no meat on any Friday rule… I considered breaking the ‘fast’ so I could have a proper supper, but I’m glad I didn’t. I had salad, sushi (no fish) and took the meat out of a sub sandwich and fed most of it to the baby.

I hadn’t planned on staying for the movie, and already baby was getting cranky so we left as soon as I finished eating. Right near the end of supper one table over started up the Cup game. I had to think where I knew it from, for me that’s choir camp, but I guess it’s just a camp thing. Anyway, I was pleased to see that I could still do it.

3. Saturday would have been my dad’s 83rd birthday. Like last year, baby and I went to the cemetery, though not in the glory of early morning. It was cloudy but it never actually rained while we were outside.

It was a bit different than last year, the baby would not sit still (haha last year he was about 3 months old) and I had to watch him out of the corner of my eye etc, and interrupt my thoughts several times to stop him pulling at the fake flowers and decorations by the other tombstones.

In a quiet moment though, kneeling before his grave I experienced a glimpse of heaven, a taste of what he was now experiencing. I felt the peace but more than that I felt a sense of freedom. It was like stepping into another world. But it gave me such hope. While I knew from my mother that he turned back to God about a week before he died, I was never sure that was enough. Now, not only am I sure he’s in heaven, but I don’t feel so sad looking at the grave. That is only an earthly sign of what has come and passed. He’s not there in the ground because he didn’t die, his soul lives on with God for all eternity. I found it hard to really be sad anymore, it was like I finally made peace with it after 10 years, of course, he wasn’t my husband and I may still be sad again, only time will tell.

4. 40 days for Life started on Wednesday. This was the first year I really felt called to it, last year praying for an hour straight didn’t appeal to me but this year I could see myself doing it, and getting much out of the experience I’m sure. However, upon thinking a little practically I don’t think I’m called to commit an hour and pray outdoors this time, between the baby and the act that I could go into labor and then not fulfill the commitment I had made I decided that this was not the year for that.

All the same, I still felt called to do something. It probably has to do with being pregnant myself, and also with having a child already, but this year I find the issue affects me deeply. I am moved to tears every time I really stop and think about it. While the lady was speaking at the end of mass on Sunday I looked over and saw a woman holding a rosary, and I decided that that is what I would do this year, make time to pray the rosary every day. The rosary also didn’t used to appeal to me, I just didn’t get it but it’s getting better too.

5. Since coming back from the retreat, I’ve been trying to put the new found wisdom into practice, and it’s turning out to be harder than I thought. I can understand becoming like a little child, but to be so obedient etc to suffering… my head’s not getting around that so well. It was before, I had a desire to take up my cross and I still kinda do, but it’s not going as well as I’d hoped. I find myself starting to complain, I am far from being selfless even towards my husband and I’m lucky with the rosary time if I make time for God 3 times a day. Especially the living for God in the NOW, it all sounded so much easier when I was still at the retreat. I find myself thinking about the ‘now’ a little more but I haven’t experienced anything like Father described.

6. Speaking of not looking so much to the future…

Since we picked up a Real Estate Book on our walk on Monday, we’ve been talking more about getting a place of our own. I used to be so set on Blandford I didn’t want to consider it but since not having my own space I’ve come around; even if it’s not Blandford, it will be our home and that will make it special. We looked through the book circling some we liked, and went to talk to the bank to get a feel for what we could realistically afford. DH has helped me come around somewhat to the idea of mini homes. DH wants something cheap as an investment that we can later sell to put towards a real house, but I don’t want to spend 10+ years in a house that I don’t like the look of and I don’t think that’s unreasonable. I know I don’t want to live in a park, but a mini home oriented parallel to the road on a private lot might be ok. A mini home vendor is having an open house this weekend and we plan to check it out, see how much a mini home without the land would cost.

The thing is, I have been really caught up with this house stuff, and instead of living in the now I’ve been looking to the future. Every time I have a bad day here at the in-laws I’m just wishing we had our own space now. Because I’ve been feeling this way and we picked up the real estate book on our walk the other day I’ve been so focused on the idea of a place of our own, even though I already know right now that is not God’s will for me. Right now I’ve been feeling more caught up in this house business than the fact that I will have a new baby in less than 2 months!

It’s not like this is going to happen soon, for starters we have to save up a down payment first. Therefore, we’re not going to end up buying any of the houses we saw in the book, we’re not even going to start really looking till next spring/summer and wouldn’t be buying till probably the fall! So there’s really no rush. It is nice to know that there are a few options that we can afford and I might like in our price range, but I can’t fall in love with any of them because they probably won’t be there when we do look.

We talked to the bank, we know the numbers etc, we’re not going to really look till next year, and for now we have to save. So I just have to trust that if/and when God is ready for me to leave the In-laws that He will help us save the money (maybe get me a job to help out) and that when He’s ready He will provide a house in our price range that I can live with.

7. Baby got some winter boots last week:

and DMIL made a pillow case to keep his beloved pillow clean (though the last 2 days he’s insisted on carrying around his blanket instead.)

CCO Fall Retreat Sept 11-13

A few weeks ago I went on CCO’s annual Fall Retreat. I’d never been on any real retreat (whee you actually go away) and it was a really good experience. There were a series of talks and discussion sessions as well as praise and worship, some personal prayer time each day and time for fun. The retreat was held at a newly renovated camp on a lake, a very beautiful, very peaceful spot for reflection.

The guest speaker was Father Clair Watrin, who spoke at Rise Up. last year.

Father Clair was a great speaker, he had such enthusiasm, such zeal. You could tell he wasn’t just doing his job as a priest by instructing us, but that he lives what he’s telling us himself every single day, and during mass when he said the same words I hear every Sunday, he said them with such conviction it gave them new meaning. I don’t remember what the words were now, but I’m going to keep thinking about it.

We drove out to the camp on friday evening. Supper was lasagna but thankfully they had a vegetarian version, since it was a friday. I’ve been wondering why no one at CCO seems to be observing the no meat every Friday rule, and I’m guessing most of them don’t know it. Father sat next to me at dinner that night and I asked him about it when he brought back a plate with the meat lasagna, but he just hadn’t realized it was friday etc.

Later that evening I was introduced to the game of Bunnock. The article explains it pretty well, though we played with plastic ‘bones’. It is fun if you are good at it lol, and it’s not bad to watch either. Our team won our first game but lost the second.

Two of the prominent CCO people weren’t able to be there because the wife went into labor that morning. It was her due date after all. So all evening we were anxious for baby news. When Eric got the call we could tell because of how much he was smiling etc, and as people realized that this was it they all started running over!
She had a baby girl around 10:30 that night.

Saturday was lots of talks and discussions, as well as Mass, a big chunk of free time in the afternoon and adoration in the evening.

Here’s an outline of all the talks/discussions, (the brackets are my thoughts on the subjects).

Talks
Session 1 – Called to a relationship with God
-We are all created etc to know God, love God, to serve Him in this life and to be with Him in the next.
-If you are not saying yes to God then you are saying yes to sin. You are a slave to it, you are not free.
-Father asked us, What’s important in your life? What occupies your time, money and thoughts?
For me this would be:Family, Relationships, (friends and husband), Photography, Computer, God, music
Then he said,
-Think of the lion fighting against a panther (inside you) which one will win? The one you feed.
(What you choose is what you get. The World vs the Spirit. If you choose God you go to heaven, if you choose the world you only get what the world has to offer, and that does not include eternal life.)
Now, which do you spend more time on, God, or His gifts?
-Everything, should lead you to God.
(This gives you the freedom to enjoy everything else (ie His gifts) in a deeper way. ex. this party is a small taste of what the parties in heaven are like).
(For me a big part of my life is photography, and this is somewhat already the case because I try to accept it when I can’t get a shot, that it just wasn’t meant to be. God has granted me plenty of good shots.)
-It is a blessing that only God can fill us. If we could be filled by the things of the world then our hearts would be pretty small. But, they must be pretty big if only God can fill them.

Session 2 – Sin breaks that relationship
-The prodigal Son didn’t repent until everything fell apart. (I hope that doesn’t have to happen for DH.)
-We should all say, Bless me Father for I’ve been stupid! (stupid to throw away the kingdom of heaven fro some earthly pleasure)
-Fr Clair said he used to play store only he played shoplifter. Someone asked him why would you sell your soul for $5?! At least steal $1 million dollars if you’re going that route. Your soul is worth so much more.
-It is hard to be truly repentant, to have perfect contrition – to be sorry enough for your sins that you truly mean it when you say you won’t do it again (not that THAT has to happen but that you truly don’t want to commit any of the sins again). (A few weeks back though, I was.)

Session 3 – Life is NOW
-All life is right NOW
-It’s up to us, we can be like the good thief or the bad thief. We can complain and say ‘Get me down! this is too hard!’ or we can accept it, and offer it back up to God with love, because Jesus did that.
(Pray for the grace to be able to accept suffering and offer it up with Love
5 min of pain and then a great reward, doesn’t sound too bad.)
-Each prayer could be your last prayer…we should treat it as such
-Stop just getting through things. (In today’s world we’re constantly looking ahead to better things, what about right now?)
-God has grace to give you, incredible grace every minute of your life
-God loves us so much He wants to bless us every minute of our lives.
-Fr Clair told us about a time when he was rushing out the door and God simply told him to stop and ea the orange. And when he did it was unlike any other time, and he never forgot it.
Take the time, give it back to God and eat the orange. Thank Him and eat it in the truth.
-Everything is important, what God sends your way he wants for you, (be it an orange or a crying baby etc.)
(This moment right now, is what God wants for me – at least anything beyond my control is)
-SLOW DOWN Stop living in fast forward and just getting through things
-let everything, especially prayer lead you to God
-This living NOW is always best when you have to surrender to God and let go of your own agenda
-Father gave us another example: “Your will was that flat tire so I could surrender, and have this moment with you” – and he never forgot it either.
-Father described it as taking a Jesus moment-just for a moment stepping out of this world and into eternity
-You have to keep surrendering
-God has something beautiful for you, every hour. Lord I want to be in union with you, right now, I want to receive you grace.
-Prayer- sometimes we just have to trust you hear us, even if we don’t feel it and be thankful to have the strength and the courage to praise God even when it’s not fun and thank the Lord for that desire to turn to Him.
(It’s about GRATITUDE – for the situations etc whatever god wants to give us be it a blessing or a lesson)
-God is saying give me your heart of flesh, and I will give you my heart
-Father challenged us to live the rest of this day for God with all our hearts
(interestingly, When you’ve made up your mind to give yourself to God for the rest of the day and live for Him in the NOW, you can’t doubt He exists!)

Small Group Discussion
What do you think about living in the NOW for God?
-The sacrament of the present moment (that’s a beautiful thought isn’t it?)
-One of the others said that the times when he lives like that the days are so much more full
(Being young I feel like I have lots of time. God wouldn’t take me away because the baby needs me, and DH especially…I believe that my work for God is still unfinished.)
-Every situation comes from God: A blessing, or a lesson.
(So in the bad stuff try to see what God might be trying to tell you, or just be content and accepting of some suffering, with your eyes instead fixed on heaven.)

I did try to slow down and appreciate God as I washed my hands – to feel the coolness of the water etc, and I have to say I enjoyed it more than normal lol.

Session 4 – If you want to know God be humble and make time for Him
Father started off with a story of a little boy who’s father told him to sit down.
Father: Sit down
Son: no
Father: Sit down
Son: no
Dad physically makes the child sit
Son:Dad, I may be sitting down on the outside, but on the inside I’m still standing up!
-To enter the kingdom of God you have to become like a child – and not the boss
(You’re the boss, I’m just the servant)
-If you want what only God can give you then you have to be humble and serve Him.
-You’ll be humble and obedient and glorious.
(It sounds sketchy, why would I want to work hard to deprive myself to serve one who I barely know?)
(It’s part of the process of purification and sanctification, to get all the ‘world’ out of me. And no of course it’s not fun it goes against human nature. But it is necessary and it uncovers the real me, the me that loves DH soo deeply etc…)
(But basically the reason is God has the best stuff to give us, and He wants to give it to us. )
(We can never make ourselves as happy on a long term basis as He can. And even if we’re suffering etc if we had that peace it would be better than not. Nothing is more perfect than God’s peace.)
-You can’t be in union with God without loving Him and knowing Him.
-If you want to fall in love with God you have to make time to be with Him.

Mass
It was during Mass on Saturday that I came to my first big realization of the weekend. I guess my thoughts were wandering a bit, I had plenty to think about, but all of a sudden something became very clear to me:
God wanted me to play a much more active role in getting my husband to heaven.

Up until now my role has been very passive, I pray about it daily, and that’s about it. DH isn’t one for talking about faith much, and I know not to pressure him. I was just trusting God to take care of it in His own time, (and that was half right). He is, but not how I expected, and in the process He is also deepening my relationship with Him. It is love that saves souls. For the first time I feel I can put into action that real deeper love that I’ve felt for him for a long time, the love that goes beyond this world. I feel called to show him Christ’s love and to offer my sufferings for his salvation, because I don’t want him to have to suffer the pains of hell.

Ok, lots of things led me here, God works in mysterious ways :
The book I’ve been reading, which at least until now I hadn’t been getting much out of, because it seemed the holiness described was as yet unattainable, and something to hope to strive for in the future… ‘ she did say that we hate to see the ones we love suffer though’. That coupled with the talks about the pains of hell, eternal torment of what you could have had and I don’t want DH to have to go through that. The more I think about it the more sure I am of this one thing. And the more determined I am to prevent it if at all possible. Coupled with the talks of God’s love, He stretched out his arms on the cross, saying I love you this much. (not literally but metaphorically) And at the end of the last discussion session one of the girls asked me where I met my husband etc, and then she said she loves hearing relationship stories, so I shared mine in considerable detail. I hadn’t done that in a while and it brought back warm fuzzy feelings etc…

I already know that God gave DH to me, and vice versa, so that I may save him, but just praying it will happen in due time isn’t enough, there is more that I can do. I can give my life for him, just like Elizabeth Leseur, every suffering I can choose to accept instead of complaining, and accept it for his sake, for his soul. Because the little pains here on earth are worth it, if it means he doesn’t have to suffer like that.

So this is my new resolution, to show DH God’s love in a real selfless way, and to offer all my sufferings for his salvation.

Free Time
With both this realization and the challenge to live today for God, that whole afternoon when DH and the baby were there I was able to put into practice what I had learned.

I wanted to show him how much I appreciated him taking the time to come out and bring baby to visit, so I made a point of serving him and making him happy there, so he wouldn’t wish he hadn’t come. As a result we
ended up having real quality time together, and I was happy the whole time he was there.

We never fought or even quarreled about anything. We changed the baby and tried to feed him, let him play on the carpet ball table, played a game of foosball, had supper and then afterwards went canoeing just the two of us. (This was interesting because the girl who had offered to play with the baby thanked ME afterwards).

It seems clear now why I couldn’t wait for him and the baby to get there on Saturday!!! When I first suggested DH brig baby out to visit, (I’d never been away more than 12 hours or so and since my time with him is so precious before the other one arrives I didn’t want to miss too much) I thought that could be considered a bit selfish on my part, but in the end it allowed me to put into practice some new resolutions the day I made them, and that is a big step towards actually keeping them.

Eric told us about someone who got all fired up at a conference or whatever, and was going to change his life and then the guy met up with him again a few months alter and asked how his new life was going and he said it was pretty much the same. That’s how it is for something like 85% of people, so the question is what’s the difference between the people who actually made changes and those who didn’t?

The answer: the people who actually changed their lives were the ones who made a concrete change within 4 days. And I was blessed with the opportunity to make the change the day I made the resolution, while it was still fresh in my resolve, and not dimmed by a night of sleep.

While waiting for DH I had a good talk with another girl because earlier she mentioned she lost her father a few years ago. I told her about me and she was saying ‘well we know he’s in a better place’, and I told her what my mom told me, about him turning back to God a week before he died etc, and that that was what I hoped for DH (well sooner would be better but I can’t count on that) and she said ‘God can work through anything’ (in other words through me and my ‘imperfect’ ‘not that quiet’ example.)

Adoration

That evening we had adoration. This is probably my favorite thing CCO does. They incorporate praise and worship, time for quiet reflection and usually have everyone bring up a candle in their own time as some sort of commitment to Christ. Having adoration the same day as my resolution was also a great blessing. I was still full of resolve to do God’s will and that made me very close to God. This adoration was a time for me to deepen that resolve.

This was by far the strongest presence I’ve ever felt during adoration. It was clearly a strength far beyond mine, I felt passion for the Lord. Thinking about opening my heart to the Lord all I could think was ‘I can’t open it any wider.’ The desire that I felt for the Lord was so strong, it was almost more than I could handle. This part still blows my mind but I was that in union with God: This was the first time I felt the love we’re supposed to have for God, I’d prayed about it before, but I’d never ever felt it.

One other thing, Father went around with the monstrance to bless everyone, and one girl told me the next day that she looked over when he was right in front of me and then saw me put my hand to my stomach, like Elizabeth.

Bonfire
That night we had a bonfire, and I played around some more with the settings on my camera and the fire.

Closing thoughts
On Sunday during brunch after Mass the heavens opened up. I and a few others went outside to really enjoy it (but we didn’t go in the rain). It was a bit of a God moment.

So here’s what I got out of the retreat:
—-How did the Lord work in your heart this weekend?
Through the weekend but also just over the summer I’ve been realizing that I want God working in my life, even if it’s hard sometimes etc and I want to be able to trust. But I still wanted to hold on to some of my own desires, and I’m slowly learning to let go – and seeing how easily our own desires can take over.

He gave me the desire to take up my cross – before I really didn’t want anything unpleasant to happen to me… Not that I want anything like that to happen to me now… just that I’m not so against it, if that’s God’s will for me.

God called me to take a more active role in my husband’s salvation/getting my husband to heaven. Called to love him like Christ loved us, and that way I guess to show him God, instead of just praying about it.

7 Quick Takes – 32 Week Ultrasound, Birthday Lunch and Pickles!

Here is this weeks Quick Takes post, up on time and with pictures!

1. I have decided it is officially Fall enough to start classifying my pictures as Fall and not Summer. I officially started this on Sept 7, much to the annoyance of DH who keeps insisting it’s not officially fall. But the cooler weather is here and rather than start more summer albums that won’t get full on facebook I’ll just say it’s fall.

I always start the winter album when we get the first real snow (aka stays on the ground) regardless of the calendar.

Looks like fall to me…

2. My best friend took me out for dinner last week. We went to one of my favorite restaurants that I never go to because it’s expensive, because she said it was my choice. We had a lovely meal but the conversation was more enjoyable. I value every minute we get to spend together because I fee like I hardly see her, and we spent not 2 but 3 leisurely hours in the restaurant I couldn’t believe it was after 10:30pm when we were done!

3. As I’ve been going looking back through the baby book at the pages I have left to do I saw the page of my first room. I am glad to say I have a few nice pictures of the nursery in the apartment, but it inspired me to take some of the new nursery, here at DH’s parents’ house. So, here’s a tour of baby’s current room:
Looking in

Crib and change table

Dresser

Baptism cross

Care Bears

I also needed a picture of DH for the Daddy page and I wanted it to reflect who he is etc, so I took photos of him biking. This is the photo I was trying to recreate, because I took it with the bad camera (I didn’t realize he had no helmet for the original!):

And here’s what I came up with:

4. I finally started reading a non-secular book again, this one is called My Spirit Rejoices. It is about a woman with a very atheistic husband, and her faith in spite of the world around her. I have found it hard to get into. I think this is because I’ve found it a bit discouraging, because it seems like an ideal that at present I fall far short of, and I can’t see myself there any time soon. However, I decided it was still worth it to continue trying to read it because at least then the ideas are in my head and who knows what God could do with that in the future (a leap of faith I attribute to my experience after reading twilight). I can definitely say I’m already experiencing the effects, as some of what I read there definitely came into play while I was on the retreat.

5. Speaking of the retreat I am extremely happy I took the initiative etc to go as it was a very rewarding experience and definitely brought me closer to God. A more detailed account will follow sometime in the future but it was just what i needed to really get back to my good place – after confession and before the last month or so of being pregnant and then a new baby….

6. On Friday I had my follow up ultrasound and unfortunately we were not able to figure out what we were having. God clearly wants that to remain a mystery so I can only trust that He will give me whatever grace needed to only feel joy if I end up having another boy. On the other hand He still blessed me with a photo of the sonogram, because the technician left the room for a moment with a picture still up on the screen. Say hello to the new little one:

After the ultrasound DH and I changed into nice clothes, picked up the baby and drove to the Rope Loft for my make-up birthday lunch.

The best mussels I’ve ever had

I picked Friday because it seemed like right after seeing our baby together was a good time for that sort of celebration, and we spent a lovely afternoon together, before I went away for the weekend.


The baby ate well, clams, lobster, a few bites of shrimp, asparagus, spinach and a little tiramisu with whipped cream for dessert.

Interestingly, DH actually deigned to try the tiramisu itself, even though I said it was coffee flavored (instead of just stealing my whipped cream). The more interesting thing: He actually liked it.

7. On Wednesday morning DMIL made a batch of mustard pickles! I had never seen pickles being made…at least not that I can remember. And given all the vegetables she puts in, if you eat enough I think it would definitely count as a vegetable serving!

Pickles!

This shot looks like it could be taken years ago in an old cellar

7 Quick Takes – I’m 23

I’m going to try to keep this week’s Quick Takes post short and sweet, since I still haven’t got the photos into last week’s…

1. Last week we took a day trip to the local wildlife park.

Afterwards we played mini golf at Mastodon ridge, which has a model house and car from the Flintstones. I took several pictures of baby driving etc.

2. On Monday my best friend and I went to the Waeg, a local country club type place with pools, a playground etc. My family used to be members for years but not anymore.

We took the baby in the NEW kiddie pool, played on the playground and had our lunch. The hornets didn’t want to leave our food alone, but luckily they didn’t want our sandwiches, just the apple we were cutting up to go in them.

Afterwards I had her take some photos with my camera of the baby and me. I don’t get many photos where I’m in them and she enjoys doing it so I took advantage of the opportunity.

3. This week I turned 23. I still don’t feel old which is good The day was just okay, but I didn’t get my birthday lunch (I choose lunch because the prices are lower). We got all dressed up and drove out to my favorite restaurant, about an hour away only to find it was closed all day, for the staff party. We ate somewhere else because we were hungry but it was just a little diner. Then I ended up with Tim Horton’s for supper lol.

4. Oh well, my best friend has promised to take me out for a birthday dinner. I’m writing this on Thurs evening, so by the time you read it I will have eaten it. It’s going to be just the 2 of us, a chance for some real girl talk and to catch up with each others’ lives again. And we’ll be making our annual predictions for the year ahead (we’re only about 3 months late again).

5. Today I have my follow-up ultrasound. This time DH is coming with me as my mom had her turn a few months ago (1 support person etc). Afterwards the plan is to go to my favorite restaurant for my make-up birthday lunch. It should be a nice way to celebrate the together time etc, and maybe even finding out if it’s going to be a boy or a girl. Really I’d just like to know so that if it’s a boy I can adjust to the fact because at the moment I really have my heart set on a girl this time.

6. On the theme of babies, I have my girl name all picked out, and in return DH has power over the boy name. He isn’t necessarily going to come up with one though, he just has veto power on my choices. Of course, he knows if he vetoes everything and doesn’t provide suggestions, that his power to veto will be revoked.

7. Tonight I’m going on a weekend retreat with CCO. I’m looking forward to really getting the time to focus on faith without the distractions of daily life. DH is going to bring the baby by on Saturday so I don’t have to spend 2+ days away from him (there’s a chunk of about 5 hrs of free time on Saturday).